Ade (agentfroot) wrote,
Ade
agentfroot

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Attention all grownup relatives who actually read this! I know what you're wondering. "Hmmm... what should I buy Ade for Christmas this year? Let's see... we've determined that clothing is a bad idea (with the exception of crazy socks). And she doesn't need a THIRD copy of the same book she still hasn't read because it's the 3rd book in a series she hasn't gotten around to reading yet [thanks, Dad]. She's nothing like her sister, so all attempts at encouraging her to use beauty products will be scowled at and passed to a more willing person. And she has plenty of cooking utensils (except a big sexy expensive Kitchenaid stand mixer in green or blue that she's been lusting after for a while, with the pasta-making attachment, drooldrooldrool). Gee, she sure spends a lot of time sitting on her fat ass playing video games. If only there was some way to get her off that couch..."

Well, ladies and gentleman, you CAN get me off that couch. You CAN encourage me to move more than just my thumbs and forefingers and not die a tragic, premature death from carpal tunnel syndrome! Or heart disease and other diseases fat people often get! Yes, YOU can give the gift that keeps on giving. You can SAVE my LIFE!

Now that I sound like an annoying TV salesman, here's my pitch! You've heard of DDR. Yes, all the kids are playing it these days. Maybe you even tried it yourself! It's the perfect balance of video gaming goodness and exercise. And now, there's a version for the Wii! Which actually induces a full-body workout and not just the legs! No need to soil yourself with excitement, now. You don't even have to leave the house and be mauled by batshit crazy, plastic katana-wielding parents at Toys'R'Us! Just go online to one of these fabulous retailers! Make sure you get a bundle package that comes with the floor pad. Heck, get TWO floor pads and I'll even be a social exerciser! You can play too! With 4 decades of music to choose from, you can dance back to your youth, in the glory days before I came along! Yes folks, it can be fun for the whole family!

There. That's my pitch. Feel free to pass this on to non-LJ-reading relatives too.

(I bet nobody will actually buy me this. Ha.)
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