Ade (agentfroot) wrote,
Ade
agentfroot

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Writer's Block: Customizable Party

Invent a political party for the nation in which you reside. What does your ideal platform consist of?


In the Adeist party, we believe that a basic, simple government will do. There's complete separation of church and state, you're free to marry any consenting adult, and Halloween is a national holiday. Abortion is safe and legal, but it will be rare because we actually educate people about sex (abstinence is wonderful and encouraged, but let's be realistic), and various forms of contraceptives are widely available and encouraged for everyone who isn't actively trying to breed. You can have as many guns as you want, as long as you follow strict safety precautions. We're all for developing a variety of environmentally-friendly sustainable energy sources, but it will be a gradual transition. Enough with the war, already. Bring the soldiers home, give them the benefits they deserve, and put most of that funding into something productive, like education and research. Don't use innocent people as pawns to fight your own battles. Make marijuana legal, because it does have many medical benefits when used properly, and if people are going to mess up their lives by becoming stoners, that's their decision. Prohibition clearly didn't work either. If you deny people something many of them enjoy, they're just going to resort to illegal activities, and then you're wasting time and money when you could be putting cops to better use by fighting real crime. Programs like welfare will be available for those who are physically and/or mentally unable to work, but it's only a safety net and not a free ride. We're going to crack down on factory farms, puppy mills, and other unethical animal-related operations, and public animal shelters will be properly equipped and staffed. I know very little about economics, so I have no idea what to do about the economy. Or immigration, taxes, and healthcare. And the third Wednesday of every month is Free Pizza Day.

So vote for me! Or... don't. I have very little leadership experience, and I would make a horrible president. When the phone rings at 3 am, I'll either ignore it or mumble a "fuggoff" before hanging up and going back to sleep.
Tags: writer's block
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