Ade (agentfroot) wrote,
Ade
agentfroot

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Writer's Block: In a Jam

Heh, so my little April Fools prank was more subtle and believable this year (yes, I know, only an idiot would have bought that "pregnancy scare" thing from last year). But I was expecting someone to catch on, or at least bitch at me for plagiarism.

I didn't really finish my novel. I'm nowhere near finished, and I'll be very pleased if I even crank out the first draft by the time I'm 30. And the fake "plot" was a mix of plots from other famous books (most of you have read at least one, and considering my readership, many of you have probably read most if not all of them). First person to guess all 5 books/series wins a pie! An imaginary pie. It will be as delicious as you imagine it to be.

So here's the real plot. The story takes place in relatively modern times (roughly in the 2000-2010 range). Annie is a crazy little hermit who lives in the mountains with her cat Thunder. She's one of many weather deities, and she takes pride in whipping up fantastic storms on a daily basis. But she also has a tendency to wreak havoc, and she's sort of on probation with the Council of the Gods. (They have few rules, but gods who wish to live on earth among mortals can't do things like show off their powers, tell everyone their true identities, kill each other's followers, etc. Annie has been rather careless, and quite a few of her antics have been printed in newspapers and youtubed.)

She's noticed someone watching her during certain natural disasters and figures the Council is spying on her. She catches him during a hurricane, but he's not a spy. He's a god, but he isn't even aware of the Council. His name is Andhi-Loakua (she calls him Andy), and he's a lonely hermit who abandoned his volcanic island thousands of years ago after an ordeal that he really doesn't want to talk about. He explains to Annie that he was only following her because he sensed that she was like him, and he hadn't met anyone like him in a long time. Annie takes pity on him and invites him to hang out with her during the storm. Annie usually doesn't interfere when her storms cause a lot of damage, but when she sees a 17-year-old mortal named Maggie (who she met briefly earlier in the day) get into a near-fatal car accident, she and Andy save the girl's life. Annie definitely isn't a healer, but she lends Maggie some of her divine energy, just enough to heal the major wounds and make sure she'll live. It also has the side effect of infusing Maggie with the ability to control the weather (as well as fast healing, slow aging, and an uncontrollable craving for cheese-flavored snacks).

Since Maggie is new to the whole "having weird powers" thing and doesn't even realize it yet, her emotions determine the weather around her, and it really freaks her out. After she nearly kills someone in anger (or kills, I haven't decided if struck-by-lightning girl will live yet), Annie meets with Maggie and decides to train her to control the weather by first taming her emotions (which is pretty hard, because Maggie is rather emotionally unstable and a bully-magnet) and then manipulating the elements. She also decides to drag Andy around and introduce him to modern society. Though her new friends get better with her help, she forgets to take care of herself (and ignores her poor kitty Thunder). She neglects her job and either summons horrific weather/disasters with wild abandon or goes weeks without summoning anything. She spirals out of control, until it's up to the people she's saved to save her.

Sadly, there are no dragons, although Annie does transform into a thunderbird a couple times. And maybe they will have pie at the end. ...Now I'm half-expecting people to say "I liked the fake idea better."

If you were in trouble or ran afoul of the law, which fictional detective or investigator—from tv, movies, or books—would you want to help you?


I'd go with Inspector Gadget! Because he's awesome! But he'd probably quit after an hour or two, because I'd keep following him around, singing his theme song.

"Dun na nun na nun Inspector Gadget, dun na nu-"
"SHUT UP! I CAN'T TAKE IT ANY MORE! YOU FIND OUT WHO REALLY KILLED THAT HOOKER AND FED HER TO YOUR CATS!"
"Go, Gadget, go! Doo doo doo doo-"
"GAH! GO GO GADGET ESCAPE POD!"
Tags: crime, detectives, investigators, writer's block
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