Ade (agentfroot) wrote,
Ade
agentfroot

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I had another WTF dream last night. After a bunch of random dreams I don't really remember, I was in some sort of auditorium, bordered by woods. There were a few hundred people in the audience, and I guess it was some sort of performance competition. There were two teams, and I was on the team wearing light blue t-shirts (all the shirts had this sort of cloudy color pattern). The other team was apparently from a high school in England, and they wore reddish-peach t-shirts. For some reason, Megan was on the other team, but her hair was different. It was about an inch long, dyed bright yellow with black roots, and gelled. I thought it looked horrible, but I didn't want to tell her. Apparently they were judging individual performances within each team, and then they'd compare the teams.

This blond lady announced that Megan had won for the reddish-peach team. I got really excited and went up to her, and as she was giving some sort of "yay, thank you" speech (I don't remember what anyone was actually saying), she asked me a question and handed me this big flashlight that was apparently the mic. I held the flashlight under my face, trying to look spooky, and made some sort of "your mom" innuendo to the audience. After that, they were going to judge my team. I knew I wasn't going to win, because a) I can't dance, and b) Lady Gaga and Miley Cyrus and maybe Madonna were on my team. Apparently this other girl on my team looked like Lilly from Hannah Montana and couldn't dance either, so she was doing this combination of random dances. But right before they were going to announce who won on my team, the other team got into a school bus and drove away, presumably back to England.

In the next scene, I was walking back home through the woods. I didn't remember who won on my team or which team won the competition. I was alone, and it was dark, but I just trudged through the path in the woods. Suddenly, a creature crawled onto my sleeve (I was now wearing a hoodie), by my right hand. It was some sort of red spider, about 6 inches long with its legs kind of scrunched up (when I woke up, it reminded me of a spider I found at work and released outside the other day, only MUCH bigger), and it was heavy, probably one or two pounds. Now, if I was arachnophobic, I would have had a hysterical fit seeing this thing on my sleeve. But I didn't, and I actually thought the spider was kind of neat. However, I don't like bugs crawling on me, so I tried to shake it off. Instead, it decided to crawl up my sleeve. I was worried that it was going to try and bite my neck, so I found a wooden spoon on the ground and pried it off. It had a very hard shell, like a crab.

The spidercrab started following me and trying to climb up my sleeve again, so I considered whacking it with the spoon or stepping on it, but that would have just angered it. So I walked to this random house and went inside. There was a slender woman with dark, shoulder-length hair inside, maybe in her 40s. She looked like a mom-type. She was in a room with maybe half a dozen bald-headed babies in what looked like car seats. But she told me the babies were really spidercrabs that kept following her, and she had knocked out their teeth (since when do arachnids and/or crustaceans have teeth?) and gotten them neutered. They were trapped inside these seat devices and just sat there, staring at us.

Another spidercrab came in, and I decided to cook it. I filled a heavy, dark pot with water and put it on the stove. I quickly scooped up the spidercrab, dropped it in, and slammed down the lid. The pot began to shake violently, and the metal turned light and shiny and kind of crumpled. I held down the lid, hoping the spidercrab wouldn't rip open the pot and kill me. After a while, the pot calmed down, so I slowly opened the lid. The cooked spidercrab lay still, so I took a knife and cut it in half, examining the steaming, cooked entrails. I wasn't sure if I wanted to eat it or not, and I was still worried that the spidercrab would come back to life.

Hmmm, the whole spidercrab thing sounds like an interesting horror movie idea. BEWARE THE SPIDERCRABS!
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