Ade (agentfroot) wrote,
Ade
agentfroot

20 reasons kittens are awesomer than babies

1. You don't have to get pregnant to have a kitten. No morning sickness, doctors, or pushing a bowling ball through your crotch!

2. You can pick your own kitten to suit your personality and lifestyle. With babies, you're stuck with whatever nature gives you, whether you like it or not.

3. Kittens are significantly cheaper to adopt, feed, and raise. If you have a baby, you have to get a bajillion expensive things for it, but kittens really only need a litter box, some food, and a few vet trips.

4. Kittens come in a zillion different colors and patterns. Sure, babies come in a limited spectrum of colors, but have you ever seen a tiger-striped baby?

5. It's much better for a teenager to have a kitten than a baby.

6. If you choose not to have kittens, society won't care, and your family and friends won't pressure you to "settle down" and become a cat lady/lord.

7. When your kitten grows up, it will never be too embarrassed to sit on your lap or snuggle in bed with you on Saturday mornings.

8. Kittens are so much cuter and fluffier.

9. If your kitten is bad, you can lock it in the cold, dark basement for a few hours.

10. When kittens grow up, they're still cute. But most grownup humans... not so cute.

11. If you accidentally step on your kitten's tail, it will glare at you and run away but forget about it in 5 minutes, instead of crying about it to their therapist 40 years later while blaming you for all their problems.

12. If your kitten barfs, it will probably end up on the floor, not all over your shirt.

13. Babies and catnip aren't very entertaining.

14. Kittens don't need diapers and are litter-trained when they're only a few weeks old.

15. Having a kitten won't turn your life upside down and require you to get up for 3 AM feedings, get a second job to pay for it, or question whether you should stay home with it or pursue your career.

16. You can cage your kitten for trips to the vet.

17. You can leave your kitten home alone while you go to work, and if you have to go away for a day or two, you can just set out extra food and water.

18. Kittens don't scream and cry all the time, and it's ok to ignore them if they meow constantly.

19. Having three or more cats is less crazy than having three or more children.

20. You can spay/neuter your kitten!
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