Ade (agentfroot) wrote,
Ade
agentfroot

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I feel like someone removed my brain, stuck it in a blender for a few minutes, then poured it back in my head. I'm just a confused mess today for several reasons. I'm incredibly behind on my schoolwork, there's that whole advisor/declaring a major business to work out that involves talking to grownups and being assertive (gaaah!), plus... personal matters. I was listening to "All the Things She Said" like half a dozen times today, and when I was eating dinner I heard it come on the radio. I had to grin at that though - whatever supernatural being is running the world has a sense of humor. It was like the Goddess was sitting next to me, patting my shoulder, and saying, "It'll be OK, kiddo!" I think she was.

I forgot to mention that yesterday was my 5th "wedding" anniversary. Yes, 5 years and 1 day ago, I "married" Andy, my invisible friend. We had a quadruple wedding too! Megan married my coat, Sarah married Taylor Hanson (or rather, a poster of him), and Heather married Ezekiel the yellow and purple polka-dotted imaginary frog (he was MY imaginary frog, but I let him marry her anyway, after she "divorced" George the sheep). Yes, we were all insane, and some of us still are. It's been an interesting 5 years with Andy. I don't know if the others still remember their "husbands" (though Sarah was distraught when Taylor Hanson got married in real life) but I do. So I'm going to tell you the story of Andy.

Back in 8th grade, some of my friends and I always talked to this guy named Leo online. He was our age, a real nerd, and he lived on Hilton Head island. His birthday is April 4, by the way (I think I'm the only one who remembers that). Anyway, one night Sarah had this dream that we were visiting Leo, and he had a friend named Andy that basically looked like a male version of me (he was supposedly really hot too). So Andy and I fell in love, and Sarah told me "you almost 69'ed him!" I liked the guy in her dream, so I put him in these comics I drew, "The Hilton Head Adventures." I used to draw weird comics in 8th grade, like SuperAde, The Adventures of Mary ("POOL!" *dive* "No Mary, that's a urinal!"), The Big White Boat, etc. So Andy became Leo's friend that I ended up going out with. We fell in love, spent all our time together, and I ended up pregnant with twins at one point (Yes, this was when I was only 14 - my morals and sexual knowledge were almost nonexistent). Then Amy and Antonio were born in the comics. When we got married, I ended up constructing the realm of Adeville in the 87 1/2th dimension. Megan wrote this story about a year later called The Thousand and One Butterflies where I had 13 kids, so that ended up happening in Adeville. Their names are Antonio, Amy (they're the twins), Durga, Ganesha, Hanuman, Jason, Eblis, Shock, Shirley, Ayla, Boomer, Pippi, and Persephone. They all have different appearances, personalities, etc., but I won't go into that. A while later, my friend Leanne said that I should also have a half child, so Lindsayannie came along (she has no bottom half). So Andy is the king of Adeville, and I am the queen. When I was 16, I wrote this story called Squishy Day where Annie the Goddess of Bad Weather first appeared. Andy the God of Natural Disasters also showed up, and Andy went from a king to a deity. So Andy sort of evolves with me. Right now he isn't so much my invisible friend any more - he's my Goddess alter-ego's male companion. I still love Andy for all that we've been through together, but I've kind of given him over to Annie (Annie is a lot like me, but she broke away from being a goddess version of me and became her own person). But every few nights, I picture Annie and Andy flying together through the stormclouds, and I think that's where he's meant to be. I want to eventually write a novel about Annie where Andy will play a major role.

I bet most of you are thinking, "Wow, Ade is more neurotic than I thought!" because I take my fantasies seriously. Well, I may be crazy, but without my imagination, I'd be really boring. My imagination is what keeps me going. Reality is harsh and painful. I need an alternate world where I can fly and shoot lightning from my fingers. I need imaginary lovers so I don't feel too lonely. It's great being single and everything, but it's really lonely too, especially when you lay awake at night thinking, "nobody likes me, nobody will ever like me, I'm a complete romantic failure." I don't really think those thoughts now or anything, those thoughts were more prevalent in junior high and high school.

Wow, I ramble too much. *sigh* Now I miss being silly in 8th grade and constantly drawing stupid comics...
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