Ade (agentfroot) wrote,
Ade
agentfroot

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It's late April and it's STILL cold. I love bad weather and everything, I just hate how bipolar the weather in Pennsylvania is. And being me, I never look out the window or check the weather online, so I end up wearing sweatshirts on hot days and t-shirts on cold days.

Anyway, for some reason I was wondering what it would be like to be male for a day. So I started thinking about what I would do if I could be male for a day. And this is what I came up with.

In the morning I'd wake up and promptly look in my pants. I'd say to myself, "Ooh, look, I have one of those boy thingies!" Then I'd go to the bathroom (getting weird looks from the girls in my hall), go potty rather awkwardly, and then look in the mirror while washing my hands. I'd immediately burst out laughing due to the prominence of stubble on my face, and I'd have to feel it and look at it from different angles. I wouldn't shave it, because I'd probably end up hurting myself, and I'd want to see what it was like to have a beard, or at least stubble (I don't have any shaving cream anyway). Then I'd take a shower and end up staying in there for a really long time, checking out my boy body. "Oh, look, I'm flat chested! There's hair on it too! And I have a penis! Hmmm, what happens if I touch it? OH MY GOSH IT'S GROWING! My, that's an interesting sensation... let's see what happens if I keep doing it. Holy craaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAPPPPPPP..... *catches breath* Oops, I must have spilled my shampoo. Wait a minute, my shampoo is purple. Oh, I know what that is... *giggles*" After that, I'd go back to my room and find that I had trouble fitting into my undies. Knowing me, I'd be thrilled that I was a guy wearing womens underwear, and I'd wear it anyway. If that got annoying, I'd just wear the shorts of this pajama set my aunt got me that I never wear. My pants wouldn't fit since my hips would be narrower, but I'd find a way to keep them up (I do have one belt, but I haven't figured out how it works yet). I'd wear one of my many androgynous shirts. Then I'd end up having to go to class, and people would be staring at me, wondering why I had chin stubble and a different body. My friends would be surprised, but I'd probably feel more comfortable around my male friends (I'm getting over my issues with guys in general, but I still feel slightly awkward around my male friends... I don't know why). At some point during the day, I'd have to run around topless so I could feel liberated (and legal!). Of course, I'd freeze, since Meadville has chronic weather issues. And I'd also dress in my most feminine clothes (I have some costumes...) and put on makeup and put socks in a bra to see what I looked like as a drag queen (probably like a feminized version of myself with stubble... I never dress girly, so I'd probably end up laughing at myself). I'd also have to play some video games to see if there really is a gender difference. Well, that's all I can think of at the moment.
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