> > > Next time you have a bad day at work...think of this
> > > guy. Rob is a commercial saturation diver for Global
> > > Divers in Louisiana. He performs underwater repairs
> > > on offshore drilling rigs. Below is an E-mail he sent
> > > to his sister.
> > > She then sent it to The X, 103.2 FM in Ft Wayne IN,
> > > who was sponsoring a "worst job experience" contest.
> > > Needless to say, she won.
> > > Hi Sue,
> > > Just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother.
> > > Last week I had a bad day at the office. I know
> > > you've been feeling down lately at work, so I
> > > thought I would share my dilemma with you to make you
> > > realize it's not so bad after all.
> > > Before I can tell you what happened to me, I first
> > > must bore you with a few technicalities of my job.
> > > As you know, my office lies at the bottom of the
> > > sea. I wear a suit to the office. It's a wetsuit. This
> > > time of year the water is quite cool. So what we do
> > > to keep warm is this: we have a diesel powered
> > > industrial water heater. This $20,000 piece of
> > > equipment sucks the water out of the sea. It heats
> > > it to a delightful temperature. It then pumps it
> > > down to the diver through a garden hose, which is
> > > taped to the air hose. Now this sounds like a darn
> > > good plan, and I've used it several times with no
> > > complaints. What I do, when I get to the bottom and
> > > start working, is take the hose and stuff it down
> > > the back of my wetsuit. This floods my whole suit
> > > with warm water. It's like working in a Jacuzzi.
> > > Everything was going well until all of a sudden, my
> > > butt started to itch. So, of course, I scratched it.
> > > This only made things worse. Within a few seconds
> > > my butt started to burn. I pulled the hose out from my
> > > back, but the damage was done.
> > > In agony I realized what had happened. The hot water
> > > machine had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped it into
> > > my suit. Now since I don't have any hair on my back,
> > > the jellyfish couldn't stick to it. However, the
> > > crack of my butt was not as fortunate. When I scratched
> > > what I thought was an itch, I was actually grinding the
> > > jellyfish into my butt.
> > > I informed the dive supervisor of my dilemma over the
> > > communicator. His instructions were unclear due to the
> > > fact that he, along with 5 other divers, were all
> > > laughing hysterically.
> > > Needless to say I aborted the dive. I was instructed
> > > to make 3 agonizing in-water decompression stops
> > > totaling 35 minutes before I could reach the
> > > surface to begin my chamber dry decompression. When I
> > > arrived at the surface, I was wearing nothing but my
> > > brass helmet.
> > > As I climbed out of the water, the medic, with tears
> > > of laughter running down his face, handed me a tube of
> > > cream and told me to rub it on my butt as soon
> > > as I got in the chamber. The cream put the fire out,
> > > but I couldn't poop for 2 days because my butt hole
> > > was swollen shut.
> > > So, next time you're having a bad day at work, think
> > > about how much worse it would be if you had a jellyfish
> > > shoved up your butt.
> > > Now repeat to yourself,
> > > "I love my job, I love my job, I love my job..."
Wow. Just... wow. And ow.