Ade (agentfroot) wrote,

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Phew, just got back from movie night at my neighbor's house. We watched "The Hot Chick" and part of "Old School." Both movies were pretty stupid, though I liked the girl's little drag princess brother in "The Hot Chick." Before we watched the movie, we went over to Julia's house, and Katie and Julia decided they had to go to the bathroom (separate bathrooms), and they left me standing alone in Julia's living room. So Julia's mom walked in and saw me standing there, and I tried to nervously explain my presence. Well, Helen is a nice lady, so she understood. Then when Katie and Julia came back, they told me to stay inside while they ran around in the rain and talked to some other neighbors. Humph. Why do I randomly get left out of things? Well, after they took forever to pick out their trampy little outfits (half a dozen 12-13-year-old boys came over to watch the movies), we listened to Abba (yay!) until the guys came over. Well... that was interesting. I hate being the only oddball, but that's ok. I have my oddball friends. And I don't need to wear tight little tops and short shorts to attract boys. They're going to avoid me no matter what I wear. Well, except for my guy friends - they're too awesome to care what I look like. But I decided that there aren't enough cute male nerds in Murrysville. Oh well. *shrugs*

Today my mom approached me in the kitchen and talked to me in a serious tone. I was really worried about what she was saying, but she surprised me.

Mom: What was the name of that new doctor you saw?
Ade: I don't know.
Mom: Well, I wanted to know, since I wondered if she could give you a referral.
Ade: A referral?
Mom: Yes... I thought that now you're 20... *Ade starts worrying* maybe your new doctor could refer you to an adult... *Ade freezes in antici...pation* ...neurologist.
Ade: *relieved that she didn't say the dreaded g-word... you ladies can figure out what that is* A neurologist?
Mom: Yes... since Dr. Old Neurologist Guy is a pediatric neurologist, I thought you should see an adult neurologist.
Ade: Do you think I need to see one?
Mom: Well... you know, with your recent hair-pulling... (My mom abducted my trichotillomania book and read all about hair-pulling, so she keeps asking me about it when I'd rather just keep to myself about it)
Ade: Oh that, that's nothing... *feels the semi-bald patch on the back of her head and bites her lip*
Mom: Well, I thought that maybe a neurologist could help with that. (I guess my hair-pulling is another symptom of Tourette syndrome)
Ade: They'll probably put me on medication. *sarcasm* Woohoo, Ritalin!
Mom: Plus, with that anxiety you have about talking to people...
Ade: That's not related to neurology, that's a psychological thing.

The conversation went on for a while, and I tried to convince my mom that I'm fine and don't need to see another neurologist. She apparently thinks that my self-diagnosed social anxiety is related to Tourette syndrome, but it has nothing to do with it. I don't think I need to see a neurologist, because my hair-pulling isn't extremely serious at the moment (it was a few months ago, but the hair is growing back). And if I did see a neurologist, (s)he'd probably just put me on medication. I read that several antidepressants tend to have positive effects on hair-pulling, but I don't want to be on medication. I can't even get myself in the routine of taking a vitamin every morning. Plus, I don't know what weird side effects I'd have on medication. I mean, Zoloft or Paxil might be great for some people, but they can have horrendous effects on others. I haven't routinely been on medication (I know... lucky me) since my appendectomy 2 years ago, and my body isn't used to taking weird chemicals. Of course, last time I went to a neurologist, he said I didn't need to take any medication to control my Tourette syndrome unless it was affecting me socially (too late - it just about ruined my childhood). So I don't know if going to a new doctor would change anything.

*ahem* There I go, babbling again. I tend to do that late at night. Maybe I should just go read and go to bed. I'm just a bit crabby now. I'll be better tomorrow. Hopefully.

Quote of the day:
"It's not every day that your best friend grows a penis!"
- The Hot Chick

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