Ade (agentfroot) wrote,

  • Mood:
I skipped Nesset's class today because for some reason I had this sudden, random wave of anger, bitterness, and self-loathing, and I don't know why. Then I decided I was tired of going to school, because I've been going to school every year since I was a toddler, and I'm sick of learning what other people think I should learn, and it's pointless because I end up forgetting most of it anyway. But that feeling passed after a while, and I'm hunky-dory now. Katie and Jamie and I were messing around with a tape recorder today, recording ourselves hitting on each other and talking about sex in graphic detail (we do random vulgar stuff like this constantly... it's a writers' house girl thing). Then we played the tape so we sounded like chipmunks. It was so hilarious, I drooled on myself.

Leen! I was busy wasting my time playing computer games earlier, so I'm sorry I couldn't tell you a story about monkeys and pirates and jellybeans and turtle soup. But I will now!

"Avast!" Herbert hollered, sliding down the rope and twitching his tail in a manner that drove his mother crazy. "Ye'd better not enter me room unless ye be wanting to swab the poop deck!"
"Herbert, stop that," his mother sighed. "It's time for dinner."
"Ah, fish tea and smelted squid, like always. Blimey, mum, ain't ye never heard of turtle soup?"
"Enough! Talk like a pirate day was last month! Now hurry up, or your squid will get cold!"
Herbert scowled and followed his mother out of his room into the main part of their treehouse. He snuck a handful of jellybeans from the coffee table, tucking them into his pirate costume.
"I'm the only monkey who's never had turtle soup," he sighed. After dinner, he sat outside on one of the branches, sadly munching on jelly beans. Suddenly, a flash of puce illuminated the leaves.
"Ay, Herbert, why's ye all by yer lonesome?" A squeaky voice asked. A beautiful female rhesus monkey with jagged, torn wings and an eye patch appeared.
"Who're you?" Herbert sniffled.
"Why, I'm none other than the turtle soup fairy!" She said. Swiping a jelly bean from Herbert, she waved a bone, and *poof*! There was a bowl of turtle soup!
"Thanks, Miss!" Herbert squealed, swiping the bowl and downing it in one gulp. The soup fairy winked and disappeared. Herbert smiled for a moment, then frowned. Leaning over, he retched all over his mother's clean laundry. Once again, he had forgotten about his allergy to turtles. Alas.

The End!

And now, because it's been in my head all day, a mini-poll.

Poll #192358 For those of you who know me in person

What am I like in person?

What am I like online?

How am I different in person/online?


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