Ade (agentfroot) wrote,

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I wrote a 501-word short short tonight, I'll probably turn it in with my fiction portfolio (muhahahahahahaaaa). I wrote part of it a couple weeks ago, but tonight I decided to finish it. It was inspired by several recent conversations... and it's very, uh... interesting.

Boys and Girls

When I woke up that morning, Rick and I had switched places. I lay in his bed, tangled in his sheets, and I suddenly had a penis. I staggered to the bathroom and blinked at my reflection - Rick's reflection. Too groggy to panic, I pissed and spent half an hour showering.
"Rick, hurry up!" His roommate pounded on the door. "You better not be masturbating!"
"I'm not!" I lied.
While I showered and explored my new parts, I contemplated the situation. If my mind had usurped Rick's body, then logically his mind was in my body. I put on one of Rick's sweatshirts and the only remotely clean pants I could find and headed over to my apartment.
I banged on the door for a good ten minutes, and I knew Rick had to be in there. I could hear one of my badly dubbed hentai DVDs and a suspicious buzzing sound through the door. Great, he found my goody drawer. He finally flung open the door, a towel draped carelessly over himself. He had some nerve opening the door almost naked when he was in my body in my apartment. My 82-year-old landlady could have walked by.
"Hey Liz," he panted. "Man, that little purple thing's got one hell of a buzz to it!"
I pushed him aside, walked into the apartment, and slammed the door. "Jeez, you idiot, what are you doing?"
"What do you think I'm doing?" He raised an eyebrow at me, dropping the towel and heading towards the couch. "Don't tell me you didn't jack off when you discovered your dick this morning." He held up one of my vibrators and asked, "Got any more batteries? This one's getting low."
For a brief second, I thought about killing him right there, but that would either mean suicide or an eternity trapped in my body. Rick was my best friend, yet he was violating my body. Of course, I had done the same thing to his that morning, but it still irritated me.
"We need to talk," I said, flipping off the TV and sitting beside him. He sighed and gave me a get-it-over-with look. "This is insane."
"Yeah, but it's fun," he said. "Lighten up, it's not every day you wake up with tits... or a dick."
I had to admit, it was kind of fun. And staring at my own naked body sitting beside me on the couch stirred some interesting feelings inside me. Rick glanced down and laughed. I blushed and tried to hide the bulge in my pants, but he had already seen it.
"Hey, ever wonder what it's like to fuck yourself?"
"Rick, that's gross. We are not having sex."
"Why not? We're best friends, and it'd be more like masturbation than sex since we'd really be fucking ourselves, not each other."
I glared at him for a moment, but lust won over anger. I hated to admit it, but the idea made me horny. "Okay," I said, "But just once."

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