Ade (agentfroot) wrote,

  • Mood:
Why is it that I have plenty of free time but people like to schedule really important things when I have prior arrangements? Well, fuck. Ha. I feel the need to cackle maniacally and fall to the floor, foaming at the mouth. It's one of those days.

Nick is encouraging me to go to the counseling center. I don't know... I don't think it will help, since I have trouble opening up to people. I went freshman year, but it really didn't do anything for me. I just sat there and rambled about all sorts of stuff, like the musicals Megan and I wrote in 9th grade and stuff like that. I didn't talk about deeper issues or anything, though I was struggling with social anxiety. I remember one time I got all excited because someone I barely knew at the time (I think it was Nick, actually) sat with me at dinner, and at the time I was still cripplingly terrified of interacting with males. I told my counselor, "I had dinner with a BOY yesterday!" and she gave me this amused look and said "Oooh!" I was just thrilled that I was getting over my fear of males and didn't panic when a guy I barely knew sat with me at dinner. So I did make progress there. Anyway, I'm debating whether I should go back... am I just being stubborn and unwilling to change? Hmmm. Nick said he wants to help... which is sweet of him, but I wish I could just let myself be helped. Bah.

So... we'll see. Oh, heck... maybe I should start listening to other people.

Should I go to the counseling center?

It's about time you did!
Just go already, stop whining about it.
What's the point?
Nah, you're the epitome of mental health.
I'm going to be ambiguous and say "It's up to you."

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