November 24th, 2002

"I'm a nun - I'm a penguin!"

(no subject)

well. today was eventful, sorta, even though i spent half of it on the computer. for lunch, i had some pizza (and cheesy bread!) with anita and amanda, so i didn't have to eat the dining hall crap. this afternoon, i saw the new harry potter movie with a bunch of the argo folks. i really liked it. afterwards, i had dinner at mckinley's with some of the guys.

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i've done no homework. i started gathering materials for the final art project, and i partially carved a piece of styrofoam for one of the dragons, but that's it. i'm also completely neglecting this paper thingy i have to write. it's not for a class, but my faculty advisor wants her students to write this paper about a chosen career or something. well, i'm a writer. what's my career supposed to be? i know i'll have some dumb minimum-wage job for a long time before i actually sell anything. so what am i supposed to write?

This paper will be about my future career. I plan to be head burger flipper at Good Burger (Welcome to Good Burger, home of the Good Burger, can I take your order?). Meanwhile, I'll be working hard on my writing, desperately trying to publish my novels while staying alive on mass amounts of grease and Zoloft. Once I am able to make more than $5 per story sold, I can quit my job, lose 300 pounds, and assume my role as an author. I will most likely end up with a substance abuse problem, 6 broken marriages, 3 rebellious children, and a weird hairdo. I will live in the middle of nowhere, and at age 47 I'll jump off a cliff holding the rejected manuscript of the novel I've been trying to work on since I was 17, screaming curses at society. When they peel the pages from my mangled corpse, they'll realize what a literary genius I was, and my novel will become a bestseller. All the royalties will go to my cat, who will live like a queen. So that's the story of my future career, and I hope Allegheny can help me reach my creative writing goals so I can keep my cat happy. Thank you.


i know, i'm not ambitious, and i can be so sarcastic sometimes it's almost offensive. well, it's late at night and i'm not even tired. *yawn* i think i just lied. goodnight.
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    tori amos - virginia
"I'm a nun - I'm a penguin!"

(no subject)

yay, i finally updated my site, added a couple pictures, and divided one of the picture pages.

i've done nothing really productive today, and it's almost 3. i need to do homework, dammit!
  • Current Music
    gold dust
"I'm a nun - I'm a penguin!"

(no subject)

FAIRY TALE

Once upon a time there has a young PROCTOLOGIST named MEPHISTOPHELES. He was TINKLY TWEETING in the FEMININE forest when he met SUDORIFIC BOB, a run-away TELEVANGELIST from the SPAZTASTIC Queen ADE.

MEPHISTOPHELES could see that SUDORIFIC BOB was hungry so he reached into his SMILY FACE MUG and give him his CHEESE-ENCRUSTED TOFU. SUDORIFIC BOB was thankful for MEPHISTOPHELES's TOFU, so he told MEPHISTOPHELES a very SEDUCTIVE story about Queen ADE's daughter HEDWIG. How her mother, the SPAZTASTIC Queen ADE, kept her locked away in a TEEPEE protected by a gigantic CHUPACABRA, because HEDWIG was so GAY.

MEPHISTOPHELES GALUMPHED. He vowed to SUDORIFIC BOB the TELEVANGELIST that he would save the GAY HEDWIG. He would MOO the CHUPACABRA, and take HEDWIG far away from her eveil mother, the SPAZTASTIC Queen ADE, and MASTICATE her.

Then, all of the sudden, there was a PINK AND A HALF BLIZZARD and SUDORIFIC BOB the TELEVANGELIST began to laugh. With a puff of smoke he turned into the gigantic CHUPACABRA from his story. SPAZTASTIC Queen ADE HAD A SEX CHANGE out from behind a VIBRATOR and struck MEPHISTOPHELES dead. In the far off TEEPEE you could hear a FLUSH.

THE END.

Make your own Fairy Tale at fuali.com



wow, that one really cracked me up. especially the last paragraph... queen ade has a sex change (which probably gets botched and leaves me with an angry inch) and the teepee flushes. muhahahahaaaaa...
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    wig in a box
"I'm a nun - I'm a penguin!"

(no subject)

RRRRRRRR stop eating my posts! Bastards! Well, here's a summary of what i said before the post died:

here's the title to my 3-5 page BS essay on my career: What I Want to Be When I Grow Up: An Odyssey Into the Freelance Market

i hate it when people assume i know stuff because i'm interested in something similar to what they're asking about.

i'm busy. yay.
  • Current Music
    Melissa Etheridge
"I'm a nun - I'm a penguin!"

(no subject)

You can have so much fun with instant messenger sometimes. I hate how I get all these spam IMs for porn sites and stuff (they're all the same!), but the ones who want to "chat" are funny. So this time I decided to play along, and i kept cracking up at how pathetic the other person was...

tigergurl994: hi.. wanna chat :-)
blupyglet: sure
tigergurl994: asl (age sex location)?
tigergurl994: 24/f/new york
blupyglet: 19/f/pa
tigergurl994: so what are you up to blupyglet?
blupyglet: just deleting old emails and eating cheetos while trying to come up with bs for an essay
tigergurl994: cool. i was just hangin out. kinda bord.. kinda horny :-)
tigergurl994: feel like cybering with me ? please please...
blupyglet: that's what vibrators are for
Previous message was not received by tigergurl994 because of error: Error code 3 received from server.

blupyglet: what?
tigergurl994: should i take that as a yes?
blupyglet: ah, what the heck. sure.
tigergurl994: hold on. lets get a simple yes or no answer. you are of age and you want to cyber with me?
blupyglet: a) yes b) yes
tigergurl994: great.. want me to get down on my knees and suck your hard cock?
blupyglet: i don't have a cock
tigergurl994: i wanna feel your cock in me
blupyglet: i'll have to get a sex change first
blupyglet: *gets a sex change*
tigergurl994: tell me how you would fuck me sweets.. while I peel off these panties
tigergurl994: oh yes.. keep going.. while i slide my hand down between my legs and part my moist lips
tigergurl994: hoh it feels so good. i wish i could put your cock in my mouth
blupyglet: oops, my sex change operation got botched
tigergurl994: what?? what is a bot?
blupyglet: i have 3 cocks now
tigergurl994: gimme your throbbing cock!!
blupyglet: but one is on my tummy
blupyglet: here you go
tigergurl994: what do you think of my pics?
blupyglet: *shoves it in*
blupyglet: what pics?
tigergurl994: shit the phone. dont stop stroking it. hold on...
tigergurl994: open my website so you can look at me while im sucking you http://www.cyberfungirls.com/elisabeth/
tigergurl994: damn i have to take this phone call. im soo horny... send me an email with a pic maybe liz@cyberfungirls.com and be sure to look at my site.
blupyglet: you little slut

Silly people hehehe...
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