January 26th, 2003

"I'm a nun - I'm a penguin!"

(no subject)

First things first. spikeslustylove is dying to be mentioned, so now she is. Huzzah! Yay Spam! *gets a stool, stands on it, licks you, then prances away giggling evilly*

This morning I woke up from a very bizarre dream. I don't know where it began, but I'll start with the part I remember. I was going past a harbor of ships and heard people yelling at someone inside one ship. In the next, there were these rows of people on what looked like plastic trays (it's hard to describe - one minute they were real, the next they were plastic engravings). There were several rows of males and only one row of females. They were there for some educational thing. Then the authority people on the boat decided they were going to give all the females.... sex changes. I don't know why, maybe it was a weird gender thing where they only wanted males. So they led all the women up into this higher part of the boat, one by one, and proceeded to alter their anatomy against their wills. They emerged wearing this tiny little strap and cup-like thing over their privates. It was very odd. And apparently the people doing the operations didn't know how to make a... you know... so these poor girls had these terribly fake-looking things made out of wire and weird stuff that looked really big and exaggerated. Frankly, I don't want to know where my unconscious imagination comes up with this stuff, but it was freaky. Anyway, then this little survey thing came up with six cartoony pictures of people on it. It asked who I thought was a transsexual (what?) and I picked the prettiest girl. So it showed her leaving the boat place and trying to live as a transsexual. Apparently she had a little hermaphrodite baby or something, and everything was really weird and twisted. That dream faded out and a new one came. I'll skip the next part of the dream, since it basically involved running around a grocery store. It was pretty dumb and boring. Onward! I was apparently writing my novel about Annie, and she had apparently went to this woman's house. For some reason, some of the Argo guys decided to go after her and I was writing everything down as it happened. But I didn't want to use their real names in the story in case they ever read the novel, so I'd alter the names. They asked the woman there where Annie was, and I don't remember what she said. Then I stopped writing and realized, "Hey, this is boring and stupid. Why am I putting THIS in my novel?" Then the dream changed and I was in a bathroom stall, changing. Apparently I was wearing my old bathing suit that doesn't fit any more with a short-sleeved button-down shirt over it and overalls. I don't know why I chose to wear that, but I did. I was really struggling with the bathing suit because it's too small, and then one of my friends came up to the stall and looked in. The stall door was only up to around my chin, and everything was covered despite the fact that I was only halfway dressed, so I said hi to her. We started talking, and then for some reason we were comparing the width of our arms. Then another friend appeared (who I haven't seen since June), and I was talking to her and we compared arms. Then I heard yet another friend telling someone how she had a baby but it was a hermaphrodite (what's with all the weird genitalia in this dream, huh?) and she wanted it to have an operation. Then I realized that somehow I had a kid but I didn't want it to have an operation. It was really weird, and then somehow Hedwig appeared and everything made sense even though it was really twisted. I woke up confused, with "Angry Inch" in my head. My goodness, what a strange world my mind lives in.

I suppose I should get dressed, go have lunch, then take a shower. I actually have stuff to do today as oppose to yesterday, when I just sat in my room and played games all day.
  • Current Music
    "angry inch" in my head
"I'm a nun - I'm a penguin!"

(no subject)

i was just thinking... i'm a nerd, but i don't really fit into any nerd genre. i don't really look like a nerd (it's the lack of glasses - if i had them, i'd definitely look like a nerd), but i am. nerdiness covers a broad scope of things. the nerd stereotype is basically the urkel figure, a puny kid with a super high IQ who wears dorky clothing and gets picked on all the time and so forth, but i know very few nerds who are actually like that. the first definition of "nerd" according to dictionary.com is:

nerd also nurd (nrd)
n. Slang
1. A foolish, inept, or unattractive person.
2. A person who is single-minded or accomplished in scientific or technical pursuits but is felt to be socially inept.

first of all, i've never seen it spelled "nurd" before. second, both definitions are false. i don't know pwople like that. the way i see it, nerds are basically the people who deviate from modern society without really breaking the rules. they basically refuse to follow the paths of their peers, but they don't get into trouble. most nerds have high IQs, which is usually why they're not considered "normal." i know very few highly intelligent people who get along well in society and gain what society says is "good": popularity, members of the opposite sex, etc. those people usually have the rare combination of intelligence and beauty, and the beauty gets them by. however, for the less attractive, intelligence is a social curse. we often get picked on because we're different. most of the nerds i know were bullied at some point, and many consider themselves weirdos and outcasts. we may have an advantage brain-wise, but that doesn't matter to many of our peers. the pretty girls and handsome boys rule the social world and leave us to form our own little social groups of rejects. anyway, back to the whole nerd thing. for many people, the word "nerd" has a negative connotation, but there's really nothing bad about being a nerd. most of my friends are nerds in some way or another, and they really don't care. there are many different kinds of nerd, and i'm friends with nerds all over the spectrum. mmm, rainbow nerds. makes me want some candy. anyway...

let's think of different types of nerd, shall we? there's the stereotypical nerd with thick glasses, a pocket protector, and a full tuition scholarship to MIT, but that's not it. there are the overachievers, the artsy folks, the D&D maniacs, the computer gamers, the people who really never left the 80s, the anime freaks (otakus is the term, i think), the writers, the star wars/lord of the rings/etc. fans, the internet addicts (AIM doesn't count - even popular people use that), the bookworms (including the famous female nerd stereotype: the librarian), the anachronists, etc. they don't all dress and act the same. from what i've seen, many have glasses, but that's beside the point. me? i consider myself an eclectic nerd. i've been to the nerd buffet and i take portions from many of the options. i'm still experimenting with the various aspects of nerddom. some i think are fabulous, some bore me, and some are just "ok." but i love being a nerd. some of the coolest people i know are nerds.

what's the point of this journal entry? i have no idea. i was just thinking of the glory of being a nerd (that's what i get for having dinner with a bunch of argo people and other nerds). well, it's time for me to get OFF the computer and do my homework (contrary to popular belief, not all nerds love school and doing homework).
  • Current Music
    tori amos - i can't see new york