February 3rd, 2003

"I'm a nun - I'm a penguin!"

(no subject)

call me a copycat, but i was so inspired by star_of_fire's stick people drawings that i decided t make one too!



katie and elli and i were at our neighbors house with ben and libby, and katie was standing on a stool demanding attention as usual, so elli just reached over and pantsed her. random pantsings happen all the time in our neighborhood. katie screamed and then burst out laughing and just stood there laughing for a few seconds before realizing her pants were down. what fun...
  • Current Mood
    awake awake
"I'm a nun - I'm a penguin!"

(no subject)

you know what? i'm sick of spam. not spam as in my nsync slash-obsessed friend spam, but spam as in the 3247895629070 pointless emails i get every day.

first of all, i do NOT want to enlarge my penis. i don't even have a penis. at the moment, i have no use for anyone's penis, and i don't want to. so why would i need these "herbal" pills to add 1-3 inches to a part of me i don't possess? and what would happen if i took them? would i suddenly wake up one morning with an angry inch? so i don't need your penis pills, thankyouverymuch. notice how they always have pictures of scantily-clad, attractive ladies on the penis pill emails? they never have any before/after penis pictures (of course, that's obscene and they can only get away with the hot chicks). but do men REALLY care about bringing their partners to orgasm? i have no idea. if my husband suddenly grew 3 inches longer, i'd be worried and would refuse to sleep with him until the thing shrunk back to its original size. sheesh.

second, i don't need to increase my sexual stamina and performance. i'm not male, so sustaining an erection is not something i have to deal with. i'm also celibate at this time, and i probably will be for the next few years if not the rest of my life. therefore i don't need to improve my performance and thrill the ladies.

third, i don't want to enlarge my breasts. in fact, i wish they would just go away because they're completely useless to me and they get in the way. but i have what i have, and that's that. so leave me alone.

fourth, i don't want to lose weight. i don't care what my doctor says, i'm HEALTHY the way i am, and i'm not going to waste my time, money, and effort to slim down. the weight loss industry is EVIL. of course, if you're morbidly obese and are having trouble functioning because of your weight, it might be a good idea to drop some weight, but i'm not morbidly obese. so THERE!

fifth, what the hell do i need an international driver's license for? i rarely leave the country, and even here i don't drive very often.

sixth, i'm a college student. therefore the "university diploma" idea is stupid - i'm already in school. after i graduate, i don't plan on any more schooling, because i'm absolutely sick of it. i'm just going to get a job and an apartment and try to get by.

seventh, the last thing i want to see when i check my email in the morning is teen girls taking it in every hole. that's disgusting. some softcore stuff is tolerable, but i really DON'T want to see hardcore anal fucking, incest (unless it's rocky horror related, and only because magenta and riff raff are just fabulous together), bestiality, BDSM, cumshots, gangbangs, etc. all of those make me sick to my stomach, and incest and bestiality are just WRONG! as for anal sex, BDSM, cumshots, and group sex, i just don't like them. they gross me out, but if people can engage in them responsibly, that's fine, just don't tell me about it. blech. and what's with all the anime porn? i'm all for artistic liberty and everything, but most of it is just so raunchy and disgusting that it's complete garbage. use your drawing skills for fun, happy anime that everyone can enjoy, you morons!

i think i'll end my rant now. i need a drink. of gatorade.

and finally, the quote of the day:
"I wish I was wearing womens clothing under this."
- Prof. Bulman, while taking off his sweatshirt

ah yes, fun with shakespearean cross-dressing, the ejaculation/death thing, and homoerotic undertones. my family must be so proud that i'm getting such an interesting education at this curiously liberal school. to think they're spending thousands of dollars for this...
  • Current Music
    "the origin of love"
"I'm a nun - I'm a penguin!"

(no subject)

wow. "for better or for worse" is getting really interesting! gerald kissed april in the music room, they confessed their crushes on each other, and then 2 teachers caught them kissing! ahhh, middle school romance. glad it never happened to me. i hadn't read the strip online for a few days, but whew! *sings* april has a boyfriend! yes, i know it's kind of sad that i get all worked up over a cartoon romance. it's even weirder for me because april is a year or so younger than my sister (i think she's supposed to be around 12 now) and she's always been the kid of the family. oh well. it was also weird for me when elizabeth went trendy around 6 years ago. i read the strip so much i feel like part of the patterson family.

anyway, today's strip highly amused me...
"I'm a nun - I'm a penguin!"

(no subject)

i have homework due tomorrow. so what did i do? play dragon warrior monsters 2 for hours? NO! play neopets? NO! make ramen noodles and lie in bed? NO! i watched my favorite movie! i actually hadn't watched hedwig in a while... weeks? maybe even a month or two? but it made me happy.

my dad and i emailed each other back and forth today. here was our conversation:

Hi Ade,
Check out the 2nd article down in the center section. I'm famous! Well, for 15 minutes anyway.
Tonight I'm also a guest lecturer at Seton Hill University. I'll be assigning MASSIVE amounts of homework to the senior class on entrepreneurship. They better have lots of relatives who work for NASA to help them with the assignments, too. Bwa ha ha!!!
Love,
Dad

well then, aren't YOU special! hehehe you kind of look like a mannequin in
the picture.
-ade (yes, i'm evil...)

Ha! Now, because of your comments, mannequins everywhere are revolting!
Dad


well, he DID look like a mannequin! he always looks so rigid and lifeless in pictures. not that my mannequin is rigid and lifeless, but you get the idea.

mrs. tweedy! the mannequins are revolting!
FINALLY something we agree on...

bonus points if you can name that reference.
  • Current Music
    "origin of love" drifting through my mind