July 29th, 2003

"I'm a nun - I'm a penguin!"

(no subject)

Things are going pretty well here, except that Moccasin tried to climb up me last night and left gashes on my belly, shoulder, arm, and neck. I want to trim his nails, but he's a wiggleworm and I'm afraid I'll end up getting stitches across my face if I try to do it by myself. Ah well. I also need to clean the cat box. Yuck.

The garden is thriving. The broccoli is ready to harvest, but of course I'm the only one here to eat it. Oh well - that's what neighbors are for. I also picked a bell pepper and some zucchini. I don't really like peppers or zucchini, but I like zucchini bread. So I whipped out the cookbook and made some darn good zucchini nut muffins. Yes, I baked without setting off the smoke detector. Yeehaw! Now I just have to load all the dishes and bowls and stuff into the dishwasher and then clean up the kitchen. I should do more cooking, it's fun.

I started taking Paxil, and so far it seems ok. I haven't had any major side effects yet (sometimes I feel queasy though). My neurologist wanted me to take it to help the social anxiety and rare panic attacks (I haven't had one in a few months, and before that, I hadn't had one since my senior year, but apparently my neurologist took them a bit too seriously). Of course, I'm alone most of the time so I don't know if it's helping the social anxiety. Though I did see one of my mom's friends at Giant Eagle yesterday and talked to her for a little while without freaking out. But something else is happening. I started taking Paxil the night I returned from Confluence. I was crushingly depressed that afternoon and evening since Alpha was just amazing and I didn't want it to end. I fell asleep that night feeling lonely and sad, but in the morning I felt a little better. I should have slept more, but Moccasin kept waking me up. Anyway, yesterday it seemed like the cloud of sadness had lifted and I felt better. I was still kind of lonely and missed Alpha terribly, but it was a major improvement from how I felt on Sunday. Of course, Paxil is an antidepressant so I'm not surprised that it improved my general mood. Well, we'll see how this goes. In a few weeks, I have to go back to the neurologist and get a brain scan or something weird like that. Weee.

Ack, I had 4 muffins already (they're mini-muffins), and I'm craving more. I didn't put anything addictive into them, really! Must be the cinnamon
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