February 10th, 2004

Alice the mannequin and me!

(no subject)

So. I survived. Fancy that. The abnormal exam wasn't too painful, and I finished in 40 minutes despite a few instances where I would just stare at a question blankly for several minutes, not even reading or thinking about it, just staring while my mind wandered until I snapped out of it. I do that a lot. Yet I usually finish before most of the rest... when I was younger, I took that as a bad sign, thinking that I probably just went through the answers without really reading or thinking about the questions. Then I'd just sit and pretend to look over my answers until people started getting up to turn theirs in. But then I realized I was just smarter than most of my classmates, though I don't come off that way. When people ask me questions I just tend to stare at them blankly, so it seems like I'm stupid but I'm not. I mean, I do very little work for any of my classes and still usually get at least a C. Ah, but next year I'll be comping, which will require actual work, and I won't be able to slack off as much. Ah well. Anyway, I just tend to panic in the hour before I have to take a test, even if I think I'll do well on it. Natural reaction.

I was thinking about Valentine's Day and what it means to me. You see, I hate the holiday for many reasons. Everything is pink, red, and white, and I dislike those colors (white and red are tolerable when paired with other colors, but I dislike them on their own). Also, it makes single people feel guilty and lowers their self-esteem. It pressures people to pair up and express their affections by buying overpriced chocolates, musical teddy bears, and cond... er, candy. It also brings back bad memories.

What do I do on Valentine's Day? Mostly sit in my room and play computer games. For that is what I enjoy, and I don't need a significant other to do that. I don't mind sitting in my room with other people, but I prefer to play computer games by myself for many reasons which I will not go into because they're irrelevant. Of course, I sit in my room and play computer games just about every day, but that's beside the point. I do not feel bad about myself or guilty because I am single. I do not crave a significant other because everyone else does, and I like myself better when I don't have a raging crush on someone. I don't buy those little valentines and send them to my friends. Frankly, I think most of my friends hate the holiday too. I don't send them any more because in grade school, we had to send them to everyone, even the people we hated, and whenever I expressed interest in someone, I usually got laughed at. Of course, they do have cool valentines, like LOTR and HP (last year Emily gave me a Hermione valentine, that was pretty cool), but I'm not going to waste my money. My friends know I adore them, they don't need little cardboard reminders. So this year, I shall celebrate Valentine's Day by sitting in my room, drinking tea, playing computer games, and professing my love for... my cat. Yes, the Dude loves me unconditionally, he's a great companion, and he's cute, sweet, warm, and cuddly. Just like the person I will not be thinking about on Valentine's Day.

And now I'm happy, because a paper that was originally due tomorrow is now due Friday. Weeeee!!!
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    relieved relieved
Moccasin eating spaghetti

(no subject)

I wrote another short poem. It had been in my head a few days, and it finally came out a few minutes ago. Guess what it's about!

little brother

he pounces
in the morning
rolling across the floor
he cuddles
in the evening
in shared warmth
  • Current Mood
    accomplished accomplished