February 2nd, 2005

I'm a dorkety dork dork

(no subject)

Wow. My friends and their friends have the funniest, craziest stories. I especially liked Rose's story involving severe sleep deprivation, marijuana, singing figurines, and back pocket squished turkey sandwiches. Rose, you need to publish an autobiography someday. It would be amazing.

Last night, after I fed my rats, I apparently forgot to put the lid back on their cage, because I'm absentminded like that. The rat cage is currently in my closet, because I'm HOPING physical plant will send an electrician to fix our house lighting problem, because it's really annoying not having the overhead light work, so I'm keeping the rats in the closet to avoid getting in trouble for having animals. I went to feed them this morning. Lid was off, no rats in cage. This was maybe 10 minutes before I went to class. "Oh dear," I thought. Luckily, I sleep with my door closed. Then I saw two little noses poking out from between the lower hems of my muumuus and costume gowns. They were just sitting on my duffel bag, being good little boys and staying right next to their cage. It's rather comforting to know that at least they won't go running off on me if I'm a fuckwit and forget to put the lid back on. They apparently brought a snack with them on their vacation, because I found one of their food pellets on the closet floor. Hehe.

Oh, and I must now explain the recent additions to the quote board. Especially the first one. The other night, I was up talking to Nick about random silly things, and I managed to spew out 3 crazy quoteboardworthy things in one conversation. Here are the quotes:
1. You shouldn't stick your penis into the cut plastic, because then it would be too rough unless you sanded it down. (sippy cup)
2. It's your fault if my nose gets pregnant!
3. Snot would make good lubricant.

And now, the explanations:
1. We were talking about virgin drinks, and I started wondering what a cup with a hymen would be like. So a virgin drink would be like a sippy cup with a lid over it with just a small slot to drink out of. You have to take the lid off to pour the drink in. But you couldn't fit a penis into the sippy lid unless you cut it.
2. It's not what it sounds like. Seriously.
3. This has nothing to do with the previous comment. In fact, I won't even provide the context for this quote because it's so disgusting and morbid. But in this case, snot would make better lube than blood.

I will now wait for your eyebrows to return to their normal positions.

Thank you, and I apologize for any side effects of reading the above paragraphs. Anyway! On to something slightly less scary. I have the plague again. I blame eating at Brooks, which is probably the best place to get diseases at Allegheny (aside from being within 10 feet of Garth, but I won't go into that). It's apparently just a cold, nothing incapacitating, just capable of making me blow my nose every 5 minutes and feel a little wobbly all day. My ears have been bugging me too, along with another physical issue that decided to join the make-Ade-feel-crappy party this morning. Give me a week or so, I'll be better. Nothing I can't handle. I think I have more over-the-counter drugs than anyone else in this house, even though I almost never take any unless I can't stand it any more. I need more band-Ades though. I know there are a bunch hiding in various locations in my room, wedged between boxes of crap or buried in piles of papers, because I live in squalor. But I've only been able to find 2 band-Ades recently, and I gave those to Nick after he cut his finger pretty badly since someone accidentally put a knife in the specifically non-knife utensil drawer. This has also led to me doing more dishes in the past few days than I can stand, but I'm not complaining. Holy crap, I need to clean my room. Or at least put my clean laundry away.

My sister's away message: smiling is the second best thing i can do with my lips....whats the first? :-)
Me: ...keeping them CLOSED for once? *laughs evilly and runs away*

I wonder what her reaction will be when she sees that. She'll probably laugh and call me a bitch.

This post is brought to you by the letter 3 and the number Q.
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