February 7th, 2005

Alice the mannequin and me!

(no subject)

I came back from class this morning, and as I went upstairs, I could have sworn I smelled my dad's pancakes. I was probably smelling something entirely different (I have a rather weak sense of smell that confuses scents a lot) or just imagining it, but I was suddenly hit with a craving for my dad's pancakes. So I put my stuff in my room, went to the kitchen, and made pancakes. The bisquick recipe was thicker, but the pancakes were ok. I'll have to pay close attention next time my dad makes pancakes. But pancakes with Vermont maple syrup really hit the spot. Ah, nostalgia. For some reason, making pancakes is usually the first thing that comes up when I think of childhood. On Sunday mornings, my dad used to make pancakes and listen to Gordon Lightfoot, and I used to help him. We'd put everything into the blender, then pour it onto the hot griddle. Sometimes we'd make silver dollars, Mickey Mouse, or fruit pancakes. But it's different now. I just mixed everything in a bowl and poured individual pancakes into the frying pan, and there was no Gordon Lightfoot. *sigh* And I was alone. But still, the pancakes made me feel good. And I think Dakin Farm has a web site where I can order more of their delicious Vermont maple syrup... and cheese... and preserves... and all the other delicious things they have.

Also, Jess got a new little baby rat! She showed it to me yesterday, and it's so little and cuuuuuute and wonderful and it almost immediately crawled into my sleeve and adventured in my sweatshirt. *squeee*

I've also been having some interesting dreams in the past few nights:
- A few days ago, when Nick, Derek, and I were going to have lunch at Los Compadres, we passed a church that usually has witty messages on the sign thingy out front. This time, it said something like, "Jesus would never turn away Spongebobs, and neither do we." For those of you who haven't heard, some fundamentalist moron has been raising a big stink about Spongebob being gay, which is ridiculous because sponges are asexual. But the church sign made me happy, so I dreamed of it that night. I dreamed I was going to that church around midnight, and for some reason I was wearing a nightgown even though I always wear pajamas. I saw that the door was ajar, so I went in. It was dark inside, but I found a light switch and turned it on. I walked around looking for a bathroom, and suddenly there were all these people there. They were having a bazaar and selling pictures of their church signs, clothing, etc.
- I've also been having a disturbing number of dreams involving the Bakkens recently. Seriously, I've had like 4 in the past two weeks. In this one, I was back in Hawaii with my family, and the Bakkens were there too. I guess Kerry was going to teach the writing workshop there (which would really be awesome). I saw them sitting at an outdoor cafe place, and I was somehow playing Runescape at the same time (you know you've been playing a game too much when you're constantly dreaming about it) and leveled up in cooking. Apparently I was then able to cook Kerry Bakken's famous lobster recipe, which I found kind of amusing, since last year my roommate told me she's a vegetarian. I went into this souvenir shop and got into a big discussion with this big fat Buddhist monk who ran the store. Apparently they sold porn there (a monk selling porn?), and they had a lot of other books too. Then he showed me these weird backpacks they had. They were round and hard on the outside, and they were kind of shaped like cartoony animal heads, like cats and dogs. There was a clear patch on the front so you could see inside. I picked out a black and purple kitty one and looked through it. There were all sorts of things inside, like a hair dryer, cd player, headphones, some manga, etc. Apparently they were all the rage in Japan. I wanted to buy it, but then he told me they cost $1900, and I definitely don't have that kind of money. Then he told me the cd players were all demonic and had teeth and would try to bite you. I ended up walking around some neighborhood with this backpack and ended up in the Bakkens' garage, even though it didn't look like their house and kind of reminded me of my uncle and aunt's house. I was in their garage, emptying the backpack, and there were these orangish-yellow gloves that kind of moved by themselves. I was thinking about the demonic cd player and thought it would make a really cool story. But then I thought, wait a minute, that sounds like genre! I was wearing snow pants for some reason and decided to take them off (I had regular pants on underneath, of course), and Chris Bakken opened the door and asked what I was doing in their garage. I told him to hang on a minute, I had to take off my snow pants and take care of my backpack. Weird. I'm still amused that I got a story idea in my dream but was disappointed that it was genre.

Just another manic Monday...
  • Current Mood
    contemplative contemplative
I'm a dorkety dork dork

(no subject)

Ack. My brain is screaming and thinking bad irrational thoughts. I wish they would all just go away. Why are the bad thoughts randomly attacking me tonight? I feel like I'm going to snap. It's just a buildup of lots of stuff, some things beyond my control and the occasional feeling really bitter about something that happened months ago that I should really forget about because it's trivial and silly. My mind has gone.

But there's no need to worry. That last paragraph was me summarizing my feelings without really saying anything. I'll be fine tomorrow. This always happens. I'll be ready to snap one day, then I'll be fine the next day.

And I'm tired of people giving me shit and then brushing me off when I stand up for myself. I'm going to start bitching right back.

I'll be fine tomorrow.
  • Current Music
    Lilo and Stitch - He Mele No Lilo