July 20th, 2007

Cyclor - cannibal lord of the pumpkins!

(no subject)

I've set aside the entire weekend for the sole purpose of devouring the final Harry Potter book. I probably won't leave my room except to go to the bathroom and occasionally heat something frozen. Sometime on Sunday, I should emerge from my room, wearing the same pajamas I put on tonight, smelly, hungry for real food, and likely depressed. I've warned everyone not to contact me for any reason other than a life-or-death emergency. So if for some reason you feel the need to contact me, email is the best option, and I'll read it once the book is finished. If there's anything you need to tell/ask me, say it now or wait until Sunday evening. If you're pretty much doing the same thing as me and shutting out the world until you finish the book, rock on.

Oh, JK Rowling, please don't disappoint me this time. The last time I pounced on the final book in a series (A Series of Unfortunate Events), I was rather disappointed, as it just sort of fizzled out. I expect lots of explosions, majestic death scenes, sexual tension, and armies of mythic proportions.

My hopes for the next book:
- Hagrid had better survive, otherwise there will be hell to pay.
- I hope Ron comes to his senses and learns from his past mistakes that he shouldn't settle for an annoying, codependent bitch when he and Hermione have clearly had a thing for each other for the majority of their friendship. It could work! Really! Don't be afraid to take risks, Ron! Your friendship has survived so much already! Give each other a chance! Please, grow some balls. You deserve so much better. And you like a girl who can kick your ass, just admit it.
- I also think my favorite dorky underdogs, Neville and Luna, should totally get together, because it would be really cute. And Hagrid and Madame Maxime should get married and make a bunch of very large magical babies.
- Miraculously, all the Weasleys survived the first 6 books. I have the feeling this may change. But if anyone has to go, I hope it's Percy, the bastard.
- I don't really care about Snape's alignment, I just expect him to be ridiculously amazing. I also don't care who eventually triumphs, as long as it doesn't end up, say, on a beach with Voldie impaled with broken glass and a harpoon, being all sensitive and giving his lost love one lass kiss (whoah, where did that twist come from?) before dying. Because that would just be a big letdown. Either he or Harry has to die, and one of them had better go out in a flaming blaze of glory. Preferably Voldie, so Harry can go back to Ginny and say "It's ok! Nobody is out to get me any more, so I'm not worried about bad people going after you! Let's get married!" And then there can be a ginormous wedding at the end, with Harry and Ginny, Ron and Hermione, Hagrid and Madame Maxime, Fleur and Bill, Neville and Luna, Remus and Tonks, and whoever else feels like it, provided they survive the promised killing spree. It would be like the end of a Shakespearean comedy, even if this is set up more like a tragedy! Oh poo. There goes my imagination again.

So. I am looking forward to this weekend. And next, because of Confluence! Woooo!
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(no subject)

You know, being the president must really suck. Not just because of having the weight of the nation on your shoulders and people blaming you and trying to kill you. Sometimes, your most personal moments will explode all over the headlines. And America will be hearing all about your upcoming colonoscopy, which I'm sure you would rather keep private. Really, does the world need to know that Bush is going to have his ass probed soon? I think not.
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