December 5th, 2007

Moccasin eating spaghetti

(no subject)

So. Here's my problem. I'm a lazy, fat nerd who would rather play video games than exercise. This is no secret to anyone. I'd go walking, but a) my street is not great for walking on, since there's no sidewalk, it's curvy, and I live in a woodsy area between a college and senior apartments so I'd have to dodge the questionable driving of college students, old people, and deer (those crazy deer, they like to accelerate into the middle of the road when they see you coming and then park while you slam on the brakes), b) it's cold and snowy out, c) by the time I come home from work, it's dark, and d) this is quite a complex, run-on sentence. I also abhor public exercising like gyms (mainly because I go "ACK, humans everywhere and sweating on everything!").

Well, I've figured out a solution. I need to use my video game addiction to my advantage here. I figure that by playing certain video games that require me to get off the couch and move around, I can at least squeeze a bit of exercise in. I'm not necessarily trying to lose weight here (though I'd like to get rid of that 10 lbs or so I put on since March, which was partially due to sitting in a cubicle for 40 hours a week and partially due to drinking too many sugary beverages, and now half my clothes don't fit and I'm starting to look and feel like Jabba the Hut). I just want to at least have some metabolism and be somewhat healthy. And then, when I'm snowed in come February and the ninja zombies are breaking into my basement, I can valiantly slay the hordes and hang their skulls from the roof like Christmas lights. Yeah, I'm sure my neighbors would just love that, in addition to the delicious smell of decapitated corpses burning in the backyard firepit. Provided the neighbors survive the ninja zombie invasion, of course.

Where was I? Oh yes, video games that encourage exercise. So, fair maidens and maiden-boys of Livejournal, I am open to suggestions. The gaming consoles I currently own are a PS2 and a Wii (I also have a GBC, GBA, and 2 PCs, but I doubt those have many options). I do have Wii Sports, and my sister has DDR, but I want to consider other options too. Especially if they're good multi-player games, because the majority of my games are single-player, and I'd like to have a wider variety of games available for when my friends are over, not just Karaoke Revolution and Wii Sports (I want to get Marvel Ultimate Alliance at some point, but I doubt that's a very exercise-inducing game). In terms of the general types of games I usually like to play, I prefer RPGs, strategy, classic arcade, and puzzles, and I sometimes play fighting, shooting, and other action games. I'm not big on sports games (except Wii Sports) or those ones based on modern game shows. So, any suggestions?
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I love my hand!

(no subject)

Attention all grownup relatives who actually read this! I know what you're wondering. "Hmmm... what should I buy Ade for Christmas this year? Let's see... we've determined that clothing is a bad idea (with the exception of crazy socks). And she doesn't need a THIRD copy of the same book she still hasn't read because it's the 3rd book in a series she hasn't gotten around to reading yet [thanks, Dad]. She's nothing like her sister, so all attempts at encouraging her to use beauty products will be scowled at and passed to a more willing person. And she has plenty of cooking utensils (except a big sexy expensive Kitchenaid stand mixer in green or blue that she's been lusting after for a while, with the pasta-making attachment, drooldrooldrool). Gee, she sure spends a lot of time sitting on her fat ass playing video games. If only there was some way to get her off that couch..."

Well, ladies and gentleman, you CAN get me off that couch. You CAN encourage me to move more than just my thumbs and forefingers and not die a tragic, premature death from carpal tunnel syndrome! Or heart disease and other diseases fat people often get! Yes, YOU can give the gift that keeps on giving. You can SAVE my LIFE!

Now that I sound like an annoying TV salesman, here's my pitch! You've heard of DDR. Yes, all the kids are playing it these days. Maybe you even tried it yourself! It's the perfect balance of video gaming goodness and exercise. And now, there's a version for the Wii! Which actually induces a full-body workout and not just the legs! No need to soil yourself with excitement, now. You don't even have to leave the house and be mauled by batshit crazy, plastic katana-wielding parents at Toys'R'Us! Just go online to one of these fabulous retailers! Make sure you get a bundle package that comes with the floor pad. Heck, get TWO floor pads and I'll even be a social exerciser! You can play too! With 4 decades of music to choose from, you can dance back to your youth, in the glory days before I came along! Yes folks, it can be fun for the whole family!

There. That's my pitch. Feel free to pass this on to non-LJ-reading relatives too.

(I bet nobody will actually buy me this. Ha.)
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