April 13th, 2008

I'm a dorkety dork dork

Writer's Block: Home Alone

What happened the first time you were left home alone as a child?

When I was 7, my family went off to France and accidentally left me home by myself. It was awesome! I watched trashy movies, ate junk food, got into my brother's porn collection, and tried shaving for the first time (that, however, was not so awesome). But my creepy neighbor kept staring at me, and then these idiots kept trying to rob my house. But I sure got them. I set up all these traps, and they totally got their asses handed to them. I love the sound of a paint can hitting a man in the face. Or an iron. Also, I knew all those weird mannequins and cardboard cutouts my family had would come in handy someday. Fun times.