April 2nd, 2010

"I'm a nun - I'm a penguin!"

Writer's Block: Take me to your leader

If an alien ship were to land in your backyard and choose you as the earthly representative of humanity, what would you tell them about our world? Would you consider going back with them for a visit?

I would be the worst representative for humanity. Yes, all humans are tiny and crazy, and we're obsessed with video games and cats. I would tell them that humans are overpopulated and need to have on/off valves installed in their reproductive tubing. I would also blame humans for almost all the world's problems. But I'd also point out the awesome aspects of humanity, like creative endeavors (art, writing, music, etc.), and that everyone loves Italian food.

I'd only go back with them if they first sent out a couple test humans to see if they could survive in their environment for at least a few weeks. And if they agreed to let me do what I want and not examine me or do any medical testing or anything like that.