Ade (agentfroot) wrote,
Ade
agentfroot

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how weird do my conversations get?

blupyglet: hi
Delfishie: are we dead?
blupyglet: my computer screwed up and i couldn't see what you said, so i restarted it
Delfishie: ahhh
Delfishie: so the bus didn't explode and kill us all?
blupyglet: it's been acting stranger and stranger lately
blupyglet: not that i know of
Delfishie: and the fire I saw, it was just a figment of my imagination?
Delfishie: And the scent of gasoline, that was just my lack of deodorant?
blupyglet: yes
blupyglet: you smell like gasoline, my dear
Delfishie: and the screams of the other passengers, that was just my System of A Down?
blupyglet: yep
Delfishie: And the squeel of the tires, that was just my shoes on the hardwood floor?
blupyglet: of course! you imagined the whole thing!
blupyglet: you morbid creature...
Delfishie: And the dead bodies littered all around me, that was just from last nights shotgun-poluza?
blupyglet: lol
Delfishie: I should have known! Of course...
Delfishie: Still want to know where those bodies came from, though
Delfishie: I figured so as long as I cleaned em properly and didn't eat the liver they'd be okay
Delfishie: but if they came from a tainted source
Delfishie: maybe got a bit too much gasoline on em
Delfishie: I could get sick after my manwich
Delfishie: or maybe my man salad
blupyglet: damn those serial killers, leaving their victims everywhere...
blupyglet: lol
Delfishie: hmmm
Delfishie: serial killers?
blupyglet: sure
Delfishie: That'd make more sense than the crash I just envisioned
Delfishie: and explain the lack of burn marks on the bodies
blupyglet: they go around overturning buses and then leaving the victims in random places
Delfishie: although not the twisted illusions
Delfishie: Ohhh
Delfishie: maybe the flames were just my imagination
Delfishie: How did I escape, then?
Delfishie: I mean, I could've sworn I was on that bus
blupyglet: you were in the bathroom
Delfishie: waiting to get to Arkansas to start my newl life as an underpaid waitress in a pit stop filled with truckers and sweat...
Delfishie: In the bathroom?
Delfishie: with the burning and the screaming and the crashing and the dying?
blupyglet: yep
Delfishie: all around the toilet?
Delfishie: Hmmm
Delfishie: remind me to avoid peeing from now on
blupyglet: no, you were in the bus bathroom, fixing your hair
Delfishie: ohhh
Delfishie: My hair?
Delfishie: I did use a lot of hairspray
Delfishie: odd
blupyglet: the sink exploded and sprayed water all over the fire threatening to consume you
Delfishie: in the bathroom?
Delfishie: there was fire in the bathroom?
Delfishie: from where?
blupyglet: it was on the bus, not in the bathroom
Delfishie: Ohhh
Delfishie: Oh yeah
Delfishie: so the fire came from when the engine exploded!
Delfishie: But how did the bodies get into my house?!
Delfishie: I mean, I love a good hunka thigh muscle as much as the next gal, but really!
Delfishie: I imagine that my extra padding would've kept me from being hurt too much
blupyglet: lol
blupyglet: yes
Delfishie: Maybe it was the wolves..?
blupyglet: see, fat is quite good in these situations
Delfishie: oh yes
Delfishie: There are many wild wolves on the road between here and Arkansas
Delfishie: and the bus was only travelling for an hour or so
blupyglet: but the serial killer responsible for making the engine explode packed the bodies into his truck and took them to your house
Delfishie: Oh
Delfishie: OH!
Delfishie: So he could be in my house right now!?!?!
Delfishie: And it wasn't wolves at all...
blupyglet: see, since you're the sole survivor, he wanted to frame you
Delfishie: Oh god...
Delfishie: yes! Of course!
blupyglet: naw, he's at a company picnic in wisconsin
Delfishie: Dear lord, how I am going to get rid of the evidence?!
Delfishie: oh thank god
Delfishie: what company?
Delfishie: There's a company?
Delfishie: Can I work there?
blupyglet: his mafia
blupyglet: sure
Delfishie: mafia?
Delfishie: like black suits and guns?
Delfishie: That's so boring!
blupyglet: yeah! the polynesian mafia!
Delfishie: Who was on the bus that the mafia would want to kill?
blupyglet: no, pink leisure suits and slingshots
Delfishie: oh, pink leisure suits. Those sure strike fear into the heart of man!
blupyglet: a guy named steve]
blupyglet: yeah!
Delfishie: Steve? Oh no! Not STEVE from Blue's Clues!?!?!
Delfishie: My one and only! My darling! My dear!
blupyglet: not that steve
Delfishie: phew!
Delfishie: geez!
blupyglet: steve a. rino
Delfishie: Clarify, already!
Delfishie: rino
Delfishie: hmmm
Delfishie: Not the famouse Pennyslvanian Amish Drug Lord!?!?!
blupyglet: not that one
blupyglet: his third cousin
Delfishie: The man who has his enemies' ears lopped off with a scyth!
Delfishie: third cousin?
Delfishie: but why?
Delfishie: what's in it for the polynesian mafia
Delfishie: that would cause them to waste so many pounds of good meat?
blupyglet: his third cousin stole a lollipop from the leader in 4th grade
Delfishie: My god! That bastard! And he thought he could get away with that!?!
blupyglet: yes!
Delfishie: And since I was the only survivor, they needed to get the blame away from polynesia and figured they'd set me up!
Delfishie: And I thought it'd just been a dream....
blupyglet: yeah!
Delfishie: except for the bodies
Delfishie: But...but...how do you know all this?
blupyglet: uhmm... gade is od!
blupyglet: lol
Delfishie: alas, it just doesn't work like that
blupyglet: uh... *sigh* i watched the whole thing
Delfishie: from where?
Delfishie: With binnoculars?!?!
blupyglet: i was hanging upside-down in a tree
blupyglet: no
blupyglet: i just have good vision
Delfishie: ah.... Didn't you try to help? I mean, it takes a while to load all the dead bodies into a truck, you know.
Delfishie: No matter how many llamas the polynesian mafia might have with them
blupyglet: yeah, i helped, and the mafia dude gave me 3 bucks and a candy cane
Delfishie: you traitor!!!
Delfishie: You helped them set me up all along!
Delfishie: I'll get you for this!
blupyglet: hey, a candy cane is a candy cane!
blupyglet: you can have half if you want
Delfishie: ...Just as soon as I'm done hacking off an elderly woman's leg for a midnight snack...
blupyglet: i'm not finished with it yet
blupyglet: hehe ok
Delfishie: no! No candy cane is worth the price of betrayl (plus I'm kinda full from all the human flesh)
blupyglet: well... you can have a dollar i suppose...
Delfishie: I'll have you know that my great-aunt is the ex-wife of the grandfather of the best friend of the baby-sitter of the baby son of the head of the polynesian mafia!!!!
Delfishie: I have connections too, ya know!
Delfishie: That are worth far more than a dollar!
blupyglet: hehe
Delfishie: And, to top that off, I'm not even gonna share any of my delicious new red meat with you!
Delfishie: You'll just have to go hungry
Delfishie: and a candy cane will only last you for so long...
Delfishie: until, hungry and starving
Delfishie: you'll knock weakly at my door
blupyglet: well, my sister's best friend's uncle's parakeet's mom's hairdresser's son's gangsta buddy is watching you right now!
Delfishie: begging for some delicious sailor flesh and then...
Delfishie: then I'll kick you in the head!
blupyglet: hah!
blupyglet: i'll kick you in the knee first!
Delfishie: Well, I'm blowing a raspberry out the window right now at your gangster friend!
Delfishie: My knee will then kick you some more!
Delfishie: *kick kick kick*
blupyglet: ow! stop that!
blupyglet: *whips out Minerva*
Delfishie: Hah!
Delfishie: You mean "Mathilda"!
Delfishie: Your blunted sword has nothing on the awesome power which is my left kneecap!
blupyglet: no! i mean minerva! minerva mcgonagall, to be exact!
blupyglet: hah! you get detention for kicking me!
blupyglet: and ten points from gryffindor!
Delfishie: I don't belong in gryffindor!
Delfishie: I belong in...*da da daaaa*...HELL!
Delfishie: (*Gasp! Shock! Surprise*)
blupyglet: well that's for the mafia dude
blupyglet: 10 points from hell too!
Delfishie: She has no control over the dark and dreary kingdom of hellfire and sulfur!
Delfishie: She has no authority there!
blupyglet: yes she does!
Delfishie: Only I, Megan the great and powerful, hold any sort of semblance to a master, a leader, and feared and powerful sorceress, in those terrible and awesome infernos!
blupyglet: her sister's fairy godmother's aunt works there!
Delfishie: Do you mean Aunt Rubella D'ella Lalaurie Conneroy the III?
blupyglet: yes!
Delfishie: She's my favorite candy striper...in HELL!
Delfishie: (*da da daaaaa*)
blupyglet: well her boyfriend is satan's lover's cat's MOTHER!
Delfishie: her boyfriend is a female cat?
Delfishie: that's impossible
Delfishie: I mean, then it would technically be girlfriend.
Delfishie: You lying liar who lies!
blupyglet: no
blupyglet: the cat is a transsexual!
blupyglet: hah!
Delfishie: I refuse to believe you
Delfishie: as you are a lying liar
blupyglet: i am not!
Delfishie: who helped put the dead bodies in my house without my permission!
blupyglet: even ask the cat!
blupyglet: you should be thanking me!
Delfishie: No! There is no cat! There is no Aunt Conneroy and there certainly is no spoon!
blupyglet: i knew you were hungry!
Delfishie: says you! You probably purposefully didn't refridgerate the bodies so that I'd get salmonella and DIE!
blupyglet: hmmm, then where did my 3 dollars and this half-eaten candy cane come from?
Delfishie: Your proctologist found them
Delfishie: he called earlier to say so
blupyglet: actually i was hoping you'd have a barbecue and invite me
blupyglet: damn...
Delfishie: only if you apologize
blupyglet: how did you find out about my affair with a proctologist?
Delfishie: Affair!?!
Delfishie: Affair!?!?!
Delfishie: I only knew of his findings!
blupyglet: oops... was that out loud?
Delfishie: My god, the things in your butt... I can't even begin to describe what he told me!
blupyglet: i meant... uh...
blupyglet: they weren't in my butt!
blupyglet: they were in my lower intestine!
Delfishie: uh huh
Delfishie: that's not what he told me
blupyglet: he lies!
Delfishie: how is Enriquo the proctologist anyways?
blupyglet: oh, he's great
blupyglet: he was wearing such a pretty dress today
Delfishie: How's his gonnerhea getting along?
blupyglet: better
Delfishie: And have the pubic lice cleared up yet?
blupyglet: ever since he started drinking broccoli juice, he's been all right
blupyglet: almost
blupyglet: he sold most to a flea circus
Delfishie: ew
Delfishie: poor fleas
Delfishie: pubic lice never learn to share
blupyglet: they don't!
blupyglet: i had to kick some off for him
Delfishie: tell him to use shampoo
Delfishie: and shave his damn legs already
Delfishie: my god, they're just so scratchy in bed!
Delfishie: ...um...I mean...
blupyglet: yeah, the hair is turning purple
blupyglet: HEY!
blupyglet: oh, i see what this is all about!
Delfishie: Like you didn't know! I left clues, ya know! Lipstick on his collar! My phone number and escort agency card in his back pocket...
blupyglet: you wanted him all for yourself!
blupyglet: *grr*
Delfishie: you bitch! He wants me, not you!
Delfishie: ME ME ME!
blupyglet: like he wears clothes when i'm around!
Delfishie: Always!
blupyglet: he's MINE!
Delfishie: He told me!
blupyglet: MY sex slave!
Delfishie: He only parades around nude when you ask him to
Delfishie: He does so with me automatically
Delfishie: so hah!
Delfishie: Mine!
Delfishie: I'm the one who got him that dog collar
blupyglet: well i bought the whip and handcuffs!
Delfishie: and gave him the nickname FartySmellyPukeFace!
blupyglet: and where did you think the vibrator came from?
Delfishie: So you leave Enriquo alone!
Delfishie: Good Vibrations?
Delfishie: And he's mine!
Delfishie: mine mine mine
blupyglet: yes! i ordered it!
blupyglet: mine!
Delfishie: Plus, proctology pays the rent
Delfishie: and he pays my rent always on time
blupyglet: *grrr* why can't she just share?
Delfishie: because he loves me
blupyglet: he's *big* enough for both of us!
Delfishie: *she*?
blupyglet: though not at the same time...
Delfishie: yeah, 445
Delfishie: pounds
Delfishie: ew
Delfishie: big?
blupyglet: that's 222 1/2 for each of us
Delfishie: ew!
Delfishie: no!
Delfishie: badness!
blupyglet: *pouts*
Delfishie: bad suggestion, young hell fiend
Delfishie: don't pout
Delfishie: you don't do it well
Delfishie: at all
blupyglet: *grimaces*
Delfishie: plus, that was a little TMI if you ask me
Delfishie: there ya go
blupyglet: humph
blupyglet: well poop on you! and i'll find plenty of his clients to do that, so HAH!
Delfishie: Hah yourself
Delfishie: you haha
Delfishie: you Ha who Has often!
blupyglet: well that settles it, i'm taking over his office!
blupyglet: his "personal" office
Delfishie: then maybe you could find your head?
Delfishie: Although I have several extras after that accident...
blupyglet: it's easy to find my head! on his pillows!
Delfishie: or in the BURNING VAN TRANSPORTING DEAD BODIES....WITHOUT CURING THE FLESH FIRST!!!
Delfishie: Never treat meat like that!
Delfishie: Ever!
blupyglet: well they never told me that in cooking class...
Delfishie: Now I'm seriously considering not inviting you and Enriquo to the barbeque
Delfishie: sheesh
Delfishie: treat your dead bodies with care
Delfishie: or else the hamburgers just taste nasty
blupyglet: fine, we were going to stay home and snuggle anyways!
Delfishie: hmpth
Delfishie: or maybe I'll just invite Enriquo!
Delfishie: Hah!
blupyglet: not after you gave him the pubic lice!
Delfishie: It wasn't me, you foolish fool!
Delfishie: It was VELMA!!!!
Delfishie: His ex-wife!
blupyglet: *gasp*
blupyglet: velma and i are engaged!
Delfishie: She's not faithful at all!
Delfishie: I've seen her with him!
Delfishie: and she's crawling all over with the buggers
Delfishie: Fleas, too!
blupyglet: well i'm not exactly faithful either...
Delfishie: She's forsworn baths and sticks to melted butter behind the ears!
Delfishie: just like Elizabeth, queen of england!
Delfishie: only hispanic!
blupyglet: well she shaved last night so she's perfectly bug-free now!
Delfishie: um...
blupyglet: except for the centipedes
Delfishie: amber encrusted centipedes?
blupyglet: yep!
blupyglet: from the cafeteria pudding!
Delfishie: Tell her some nice pickle juice will get them right off
blupyglet: thanks
Delfishie: no probelm
Delfishie: blem
blupyglet: :-D
Delfishie: hey, are you going to make a new guild icon?
blupyglet: oh yeah...
blupyglet: thanks for reminding me...
blupyglet: i was looking for something to do :-)
Delfishie: yay
blupyglet: well, i'm going to zonk out soon
blupyglet: bedtime for ade
blupyglet: goodnight
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