Best poem ever:
I had a home secure and dank
'Til salt got flushed down the septic tank
Now I'll no longer make romance
But you can still get in my pants.
- the Spirit of the Slug Lord
Who wants to hear more crazy Ade dreams? I do! I do! In one of the dreams, I somehow managed to have a baby (despite being virginal and stuff), and I was up at school with my parents and they didn't seem to care that I had a tiny newborn with me and didn't know who the father was. I was walking around in my bathrobe with a towel wrapped around my head, and I think we were walking up Park Ave. I was pushing my daughter in a stroller, and we went into Brooks (though apparently it was a co-ed dorm). We went into one of the hallways, and I saw Jordan leaving one of the rooms. As we passed him in the hall, I said to my dad (really loudly) something about how he wanted me to dress more femininely (yes, I know that's not a word, but it is now!), but I always ended up dressing like a drag queen or something. Then it turned dark, and I was outside McKinley's with my daughter, thinking about how I needed to buy diapers and baby food, since my daughter was almost a day old and was still wearing the diaper the hospital people put on her, and I couldn't remember the last time I fed her. I remember running around a big parking lot, chased by Stewie (from "The Family Guy"), and he caught me. Yes, I lost a race with a baby. Then I was walking across the parking lot with some guy (I think it was Hoople, actually), talking about how it was midnight and I still needed to buy diapers. And I wanted to go to the computer lab. So the guy said he could take me diaper-shopping, but instead we went to the non-existent computer lab in Arter. My daughter was in a white paper bag, and she was really tiny - 8 inches long, maybe. She had pale skin and weird-looking bags around her eyes, and she had a soft mass of fluffy light brown hair with blond flecks. It was almost like she had cat hair on her head. I was wondering what to name her and who her father was, and she was mumbling something about "Rocky." I set her down for some reason, and she was crawling all over the place. Weird.
Then the dream sort of warped into something new, and these zombie people were programmed to start breeding with each other. Ewwww, zombie sex. Then the scene changed, and I was in a room with a few people. Ben, a midget, and some others came into the room, and everyone was talking about these different types of people with weird abilities. I was sitting next to Ben, and apparently he was one of the "sheep people" or something bizarre like that. He had all these weird quirks, like when he tried to hold a "moon" ball, it was really heavy for him, and when he touched this christmas light bulb, it glowed so much I thought it would explode. Then the midget claimed to be a moon person, because he had seen UFOs and had homosexual tendencies. There were other dreams, but I found these the most amusing.
Must... be... productive...