Ade (agentfroot) wrote,

oy. juuuuust turned in my english paper on religious controversy in the elizabethan age. i should have written it last night (i wrote the title, the references, and made a semi-outline...), but i was playing neoquest, doing lj stuff, and working on the psych magazine ad activity that's due at 1:30 (finished it though). now it's lunch time, but i'm going to wait a bit for the crowds to fade. last year i liked to go for lunch at 11:30 when only a few people were there. this year i have classes every day that go til noon, so i have a window of an hour to eat. ah well. sometimes i sit with people, sometimes i eat alone. it usually depends, and i feel like i have to be invited to sit with people. sheesh, i see people i know eating and there are empty spaces available, but i go sit off by myself. why do i do that? am i such a sociophobe that i can't bring myself to eat with my friends? and how does this make me look? like i'm snobby and too good to sit with anyone or i don't like them or i like outcasting myself? that's it. when i go to lunch, if i see someone i know, i'm plopping down at the table if there's room. and i'm going to attempt being social. there are people here who are very nice to me and accepting (especially the argo folks, they rule!), and i just act like i LIKE isolating myself. i also have this fear of asking for help. my bunk bed is still stuck on top because i'm afraid to ask someone to help me get it down. i sit around and wait for people to offer me help, then i act as if i can do everything myself when i CAN'T because i have to be independent. i have no common sense. instead of saying, "yes, i would appreciate it if you helped me _______," i say "i can do it myself." i could be fighting off a herd of vampires (i'm terrified of them) and buffy would show up offering assistance and i'd say "it's ok, i have a stake, i can do it." jeesh. what's with me? is there a complex that describes me? i'm a psychological wonder.

no, i'm not in a depressed mood right now. i'm just hungry and bitter. i'll be better after i eat something with sugar in it. aaaaaaghhhh i need to buy more fooood but i have no transportation to get to a grocery store... so i'm stuck with only 3 cups of ramen noodles, 4 apple juice boxes, and whatever i can get from the campus store. again, i'm too shy to ask anyone if they're planning a trip to giant eagle soon.

i wish i had my wings with me. those would be fun to wear around campus. freaking the mundanes! i think i'll upload the pictures of me wearing them. i need COSTUMES here too, i don't have any with me so i can't wear a lana to class and get stared at all day! but then again, i'd probably trip over all the fabric since those lanas are all like size 74 since laura thinks everything should be incredibly loose, saggy, amorphous, and concealing all the "lumps and bumps" she's so ashamed of. silly laura. i hope gro(o)ve city doesn't tamper with her insanity.

hungry! food! bye!

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