Ade (agentfroot) wrote,
Ade
agentfroot

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and so, for the 487578025th post today...

i'm such a dork. i took everything across campus to the art studio, got there, then realized i left my sketchbook in my room. and i needed my sketchbook for my painting! but i did go back to get it and finish my painting at a decent hour. i taped the brush to a long stick and just slapped the paper, making all sorts of lines, smears, and smudges. it came out interesting, but i like my "disgruntled pig" picture better. i had some extra black paint, so i wrote "MONKEY!" on the ceiling (sticks come in handy), then drew a smiley face with fangs and horns on this pillar thing. whoopeee. there was another girl in the studio when i got there working on her painting, and we talked a bit. i still don't know her name, but if she told me i'd probably forget anyway. *sigh* i hope we do some more drawing tomorrow. i love drawing. i dunno if we're going to have any nude models (yeah, i specialize in headless naked female torsos... shut up and stop laughing at me!), but it would be interesting if we did. i really miss cmu pre-college art, that was a lot of fun. pat was an awesome teacher, and i love subtractive drawing. i took her drawing/anatomy class 3 times.

EVERYONE should go buy THIS! i just preordered it today. yeehawwwww, i can'twaitcantwaitcantwait...

today there was an argo meeting (yay!) and then we had dinner, but dinner was YUCKY except for the apple juice. argo rocks. the thing is... and i don't have the power to admit this to most people... (jessica, if you're reading this, don't have me thrown out of argo, please!) ...i've never actually played dungeons and dragons. or any other traditional, table-top rpgs. i'm sure i could learn, and i could join a game, but i wouldn't know what to do and i'd feel stupid. sure, they're similar in ways to the rpgs i'm used to (dragon warrior, dragon warrior monsters, pokemon, neoquest, etc. - computer and game boy games), but they're a lot different. they also seem like they're a lot more fun, and unlike electronic rpgs, people play against OTHER people and there's character freedom. *sigh* i need to learn. why did my parents shelter me so much? why can't my parents be cool nerds instead of stupid nerds? *grumbles to self*

i'm almost finished with my bag of popcorn. i bought one of those 2 oz bags (about 4 cups in it), and i've devoured it in the past 2 hours. oink oink.

i miss my high school friends. i miss my silly grownup friends. i miss dahling and gummi bear. i miss alpha. maybe i should stop missing people and get NEW friends here. after all, it's my 2nd year here and i still isolate myself, even from the people i really like. last year i made some good friends, but then most of them either graduated or transferred. i have some semi-good friends here, people i really like who i think like me (jeez ade, of course they like you, otherwise they wouldn't invite you to sit with them at meals when they see you or say HI to you when they walk by...). the thing is, i don't socialize with them enough. they say "come visit me" and i say "maybe" but then just stay in my room all the time and wonder why nobody visits me. i'm just socially retarded.

meanwhile, laura is off at groove city pretending to be "normal" yet telling everyone there our stories about our secret lives. megan is at slippery rock, trying to make friends and dealing with the guy who has a crush on her. of course, people ostracized her through high school, and she's really freaked out at the idea that this guy LIKES her. cj is trying to find another job after the layoff tore her life apart. spam is working 2 jobs, dealing with realizing she's bi, and participating in some hardcore celebrity rpg online where she plays lance bass. kathy is probably working the graveyard shift at super 8, getting stoned at the counter. alexia is in florida, checking out the hot chicks. and i have no idea what my other friends are up to.

are we all going off in our own directions? are we sticking together despite our situations? what will happen after i graduate in 2 1/2 years? what about when megan and laura graduate? what about spam, is she going to be a professional pooper scooper/cashier forever? will cj get another job in pittsburgh, or will she have to leave the city and start elsewhere? what about my sister? will 7th grade be a breeze for her? will she be as popular as she was last year? will she be a total outcast like me and spend the entire year alone, crying nearly every day because she has no good friends and boys sexually harass her? well, no, she's nothing like me, so she'll most likely be in the upper franklin crowd. what about puberty? will she randomly discover a surprise in her pants one afternoon and freak out, or will she be happy about it? will she succumb to society's pressures and end up hating her body forever? will she have tons of boyfriends? eesh.

i shouldn't worry so much. i should just concentrate on doing my work here, and THEN, senior year, i can panic and worry all the time. plus, megan and i were discussing getting an apartment or something together after college, but 4 years can change plans. she's a year behind me, so i'll have to deal with things on my own for a year until she graduates. i figure (and this plan is subject to change, of course) i'll get a job after i graduate, get my own apartment, and try to make ends meet until i somehow prosper (i'm an english major, so i know i'll never be rich unless i become as famous as jk rowling). ah, screw the future. the present is what's important now. i'm sitting in my computer chair, listening to tori and posting stuff in my journal. that's of the utmost importance now.

i get on a roll and i don't know when to stop. oy. goodnight.
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