Brandon: Ha, you're a friend of the writers' house, so you can come to the reunion too. Let's see. In a couple years, you'll meet a cute, sweet asian girl who's perfect for you, and you'll eventually marry and become a daddy. You'd be a good daddy, methinks. Hopefully you won't spend too many nights at the lab. Because you'll have a sciency job doing stuff that people like me write fiction about right now (hee hee hee).
l33tminion: Well, this will be interesting since I've never met you. But... um... you get a similar fate to Deltron! Because your name is Sam and you're Jewish! So, yeah, you end up rich and married to a cute redhead and shrouded in mystery. Good?
Jordan: You eventually graduate, and a few years later, you move out. And then... you become a cheerleader. No! I mean, I suppose you'll have a decent job. Don't see you married, really. I'm drawing another blank here. The future is vague and ambiguous! WooOOOOooooOOOOooo *makes wavy spooky hand motions*
Derek: Yeah, you get the Amsterdam hash-house in 11 years, once you've raised enough in bartending tips.
Cyndi: You're going to end up moving to Cornwall. Yeah, you know why. Um... and you'll have a silly happy adorable spouse creature. And a puppy.
Jenn: Of course they all died under mysterious circumstances! After all, Thom has a certain eccentric "secretary" rumored to be an assassin, and it's also rumored that they've been having an ongoing affair for over a decade. That would almost explain why the "secretary" is also fabulously rich. But really, that would only be the most obvious explanation. Hee. I accidentally typed "moist" at first.
John: Yes, yes, Tuesday group needs you!
Ok, I'm really going to do this paper now. Honest!