know what really gets to me? when my life is really going well and i'm getting somewhere, meanwhile other people's lives are coming apart. i feel guilty for feeling happy when my friends are depressed. so this is actually turning out to be a decent school year (except for my annoyingly busy schedule and my art teacher's decision to give us a killer deadline for our sculptures), but some of my good friends are really going through hard times in their lives, and just when things get bad, they get worse. one of my friends is stuck in a hole so deep, i fear she's going to end up institutionalized again. just when her life seemed to be going well, she lost her job (laid off), and she's having a hard time finding another. then 2 of her best friends told her they're moving to another state in a few months. and just this weekend she left the church she had relied on most of her life... for good. she's in therapy, but she just has so many issues i'm scared to death she'll end up suicidal again and end up in a mental hospital. her situation is worse than everything that happens in the novel "she's come undone," and that novel had some serious dysfunction going on in it. but i'm going to try to stay happy and not let loved ones drag me down. i'll be as supportive as i can, but misery loves company and i really don't need to be sad right now. i don't have time to go to the counseling center this semester. i'm going to be happy, dammit! janet!
but i'm REALLY happy because i got a letter from my aunt today! she sent me pictures of my little cousins kara and danny, and they're so cuuuuute! *estrogen level skyrockets* i can't wait to meet danny! he's so pudgy, i wanna hug him and kiss him and squeeze him to pieces! yay for little kids! i should scan the pictures and post one here so everyone can see how adorable they are! oh, and i also got a phone card, even though i just recharged mine a month ago so it has about 500 minutes left. ah well! it'll save me some money! i need to write to them. and nana and pop pop. i sent a letter to grandma, so i have that taken care of. plus, she needs a letter around this time of year. my grandpa died a few falls ago, and it really hit her hard. she lives by herself in this little house in a retirement neighborhood, so she gets lonely. her daughter and family live a couple miles away and she sees them at least once a week, but it's not the same without her husband. they were very happy together, and she didn't have many friends of her own (i guess she's exceptionally shy like me). oh well. my dad keeps hinting that i should move in with her (hey, this guest bedroom is perfect for ade!), but i can't since i'm not over 50 (yet), and i don't want to move to north carolina at this time. no bible belt for me until i've had practice scaring off jehovah's witness people. tee hee...
i have a ton of stuff to do today. before film class at 3 i need to do the reading for today. after film, i need to have dinner, then at 7 there's fencing. at 8 i'm going to the pride house for "tales from the closet" (i like hearing other experiences and stuff). afterwards, i'm going to try to get as much homework as i possibly can done before fall break, and i need to clean up my room before my mom comes tomorrow. i'll have to bring all my sculpture stuff home too, since i need a lot of time to work on it. stupid due date, if he'd just give us an extra week i'd be fine... i don't even know what i'm doing with the box, and i'm not sure what to do with the 5th doll... argh! and now i'm going to do a sloppier job since it's more of a rush to meet the deadline than concentrating on doing a nice job! i told him i might not be able to finish the box, and he gave me that "what do you mean you can't do something?" stuff. jeesh. i've been in the studio almost every day this week, unlike SOME people in the class, and i still have a lot of work to do! and when i go home, i have people to see and other things to do, and my sister will constantly be bugging me, so i won't have much time for the project! oh well. at least i have access to a vehicle so i can go get more craft supplies if needed. i think i'll need more string for hair anyway. wow, i talk about my project a lot.
i should shut up now. i have to be productive and get my work done before i can slack off. toodles!