Ade (agentfroot) wrote,

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For some reason, my cats are fascinated by my closet. I'm not entirely sure why, as there are no dead bodies (that I know of) back in there, just boxes of papers and random stuff, but a few minutes ago, Moccasin was making these weird scratchy noises, like he was tearing paper. So I went over to see what he was up to. I didn't find torn paper, but on top of one of the boxes, I found a small stack of papers. These are the contents:

- a couple random coloring pages with interesting artwork (I think Megan sent me a link to them years ago)

- ebay seller info

- not one, but THREE Cyclor campaign fliers of various sizes

- page 6 of somebody's story (it wasn't mine). The header says Gharakhanian / Unlocked / 6. I have no idea whose story this is or why page 6 was in my closet, but it includes the sentence "I don't date the living."

- a Circuit City envelope

- a recipe for rum balls (hmmm, I should make some)

- an India Garden coupon that expired 3 years ago

- a post-it note with the following quotes (given its context and the other items, it's probably 3-4 years old):
"Maybe I do have STDs now. I went to this church..."
- Laura
"Kosher people eat Christians too?"
- Ade
Ade: I need a gay boyfriend.
Laura: You should find one and seduce him... with pickles.
"It's not good when your first thoughts of the morning are, 'Where am I, and where are my pants?'"
- Laura
[Ah, discussions with Laura... always so hilarious]

- what I assume to be written directions to the Monroeville India Garden, a note to buy an ink cartridge, and the numbers 3541 and 33442

- A "letter" I wrote 15 years ago that cracked me up:
From: Ad--e--- C-----
Dear President Bush,
I feel mad about the way Sadam Poosain (How do you spell that?) is acting. He burned some of Saudi Arabia's oil fields! We've been studieng coal and oil in social studies. I think we should send some soldiers over to see what he's up to. If he's up to ruining our country, we'll arrest him! We'll send him to the United States and put him in Prison. I'm in third grader and almost 9, I feel like leading the National Anthem! He deserves it after all he's done.

Yeah, you tell him, Ade. Junior would be proud. Let's send some soldiers over and arrest Sadam Poosain for ruining our country! Because he hates freedom.

Think I was raised by Republicans? Think I need to clean out my closet?

I had a wicked social hangover today. Yesterday was Nick's birthday, so we went to Olive Garden and then went to see Anne and went to Gullifty's for music and dessert, which was nice, only it was loud and late and my head was spinning. I planned on being productive and doing more house stuff today, but I spent most of the morning and early afternoon sitting in bed, zoned out on the computer. Social hangovers tend to do that. Bleh. But then I dragged myself out, since I needed to go buy food and cook dinner for Mother's Day. I made Mama Ade's Corn Chowder (always a hit) and some roast chicken, with a bit of help from my two teenage sous chefs who chopped veggies, and we also had Caesar salad, berry pie, and some sushi I bought for myself (but I cheated and bought all of those).

The dinner turned out well, I didn't burn the house down, Katie and Jesse managed to avoid injuring themselves or each other, and nobody got food poisoning (I hope). So I feel less like a bad daughter, because my mom likes my cooking. Weee. I swear, I'll actually move out of this house for good once my internet is up and running and the toilet decides it's going to stop making me feel emasculated (har har) and let my unclogging efforts be rewarded. I swear, the damn thing resisted BOTH plungers, the dish soap and boiling water, and the Roto Rooter I poured down... I'll give it another shot tomorrow, this time with the Liquid Plumber and some hardcore plunging action, and it BETTER succumb to my efforts, because you know, a toilet is kind of crucial to a house, and I don't think my landlord would appreciate me digging a hole in the backyard and building an outhouse. Not to mention how gross that would be.

Oh, and happy Mother's Day and a big whooping CONGRATULATIONS to all you awesome people who escaped the clutches of Allegheny earlier today and ran screaming into the sunset with your diplomas. You guys rock. Have fun trying to find a job, moving back in with your parents, spending your trust funds on liquor and porn, or whatever your plans are. Hooray!

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