Ade (agentfroot) wrote,

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Damn you, Avril Lavigne. Damn you for that catchy song I can't get out of my head that makes me feel like an asshole while singing along in the car. Ok, so I have enjoyed your work, though most of my friends may laugh at me for it (except Rose, because she's awesome and will also sing along). I dig the teen girl angsty thing, the whole "screw you for judging me because I'm different" attitude, and how you manage to be so tough yet so adorable. But really, this latest album really shows how you seem to have evolved in recent years, and I'm not sure I like who you're becoming. In the past, I hoped that you would evolve into a strong, determined, ambitious, lovable chick rocker, and maybe play with language a bit and write some fantastic lyrics. Alas, your newest album makes it seem like you've been hanging out with Paris Hilton and had several ego implants. You sound like a punk rock cheerleader, and you're just full of yourself. Really. A few of your newest songs I really like, but I feel like a douche when playing the rest of the album. And did you HAVE to make the damn thing BRIGHT FREAKIN' PINK?!?!?! I'm sure you have a huge fanbase of middle school girls, and it seems like this album was marketed towards them (including censored profanity - serves me right for buying music at Target), but really... it's tough to maintain a hardass image these days when you're doused in pink. (Sure, I know that pink was a manly color many decades ago, but nowadays it's equated with girliness) And I really do feel like an ass when I crank up the volume and sing "Hey! Hey! You! You! I don't like your girlfriend!" while driving. I'm sorry, it's catchy as all hell. But just a note, you might want to work on more convincing lyrics when persuading boys to dump their girlfriends for you (not that it would ever work, mind you). I don't know who you've been hanging around with, but if you tell your crush "She's, like, so whatever," he's not going to slap himself on the forehead and say "My goodness! You're absolutely right, she IS, like, so whatever! Let's make out while I text her 'Ur s0 dUmP3d.'" Yeah, he'll totally leave her for someone who's a "muth(silence)ng princess" and, from the vast array of her lyrics past and present, seems like a codependent, bitchy, clingy, whiny, egotistical, jealous twat. And yet I still happily bounce along to the song, masking my shame. I love you anyway. Bitch.

Yesterday, Emeril (the rat) was practicing for the rattie Olympics and trying to break the record for long-distance jumping. I was sitting in the yellow chair with him and his more mild-mannered brother Alton, and Rose was sitting on the couch. Emeril was determined to fly over to Rose, since she seems to be the love of his young life, and kept jumping from my lap to the couch in order to molest her. We increased the distance so that he couldn't make the jump. But he was a bundle of surprises. I think his record was maybe 2 1/2 feet from knee to couch, and he's just a little pipsqueak. Sometimes he wouldn't quite make the jump and would cling to the side of the couch for a moment before hopping to the floor, but he's quite ambitious. Next thing I know, he'll be making flying leaps from the chair to the bookcase across the room. Emeril is smaller and lighter than his brother Alton (who I recently discovered isn't just beige all over, but has Berkshire markings and is gradually getting darker in color), but he's all about the acrobatics and has so much more energy. He jumped to the coffee table yesterday, yoinked a Hershey's Kiss, and ran off to unwrap his prize. I tried to pull it away from him, but he wouldn't let go, and I figured a little chocolate wouldn't hurt (chocolate is ok for rats, but I was concerned that the sugar would amplify his hyperactive behavior). It was so cute watching him unwrap it and munch away (Alton managed to get in a few nibbles too, though Emeril wasn't too keen to share something half the size of his head). He has a hardcore sweet tooth. I watched him fish a bag of cookies out of Rose's purse, even though there were only crumbs left. He could stand to bulk up a bit anyway. He's kind of skinny (it's the metabolism - he gets plenty of various goodies to eat, including bits of veggies and tofu). I cleaned the rat cages this morning and put the babies in with Jiraiya, but they're still too tiny and were able to squeeeeeeze through the bars, so back into the baby cage for them.

So, Rose has a new boyfriend who isn't a rat. Of course, he's only around 2 years old, but my goodness, the kid is adorable (there's really something about curly-haired toddlers that makes their cuteness quotient soar). We were at Liz's graduation party, and this kid was going around in his spiderman sandals (similar to the ones I was wearing, only gray/black and they LIT UP and were therefore cooler than mine), throwing ice at Rose and the roof. It was really funny, he'd throw a cube at Rose, then lay down in the ice for a minute before getting up and running around excitedly. At one point he went over to Rose, lifted up his shirt, rubbed ice all over his belly, and then let the cube drop down his pants. It was rather hilarious and adorable. We must kidnap him sometime.

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