I saw the most fabulously gay man at Target today. I was swinging by after work to pick up an air filter so my lungs don't die, and he was walking to the checkout at the same time as me. He wore this kinda tight black shirt with silver shiny designs on it (I couldn't tell exactly what they were). He had a studded belt and jeans with patches that were sparkly and discotastic. He had red cowboy boots and hipster glasses. He looked about 45 and had a shaved, shiny head and a neatly-trimmed 'stash/beard. He was buying some blue gift bows/ribbons. I wanted to run up and ask him to marry me. Of course, he probably would have just stared at me like "Why is this ridiculously short crazy girl I've never met proposing to me in the middle of Target? IS IT NOT COMPLETELY OBVIOUS THAT I'M A FLAMING HOMOSEXUAL? DO I NOT LOOK GAY ENOUGH? MAYBE I SHOULD BUY SOME DANGLY EARRINGS AND PUT ON SOME EYESHADOW, FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!"
After buying my stuff, I sat in my car and watched him cross the parking lot. He was out of earshot, so I said out loud, "You are SO gay, I love you!" I bet he was on his way to his boyfriend's birthday party and then on to a night of clubbing at Pegasus and flirting with the cute 21-year-old queerbois.