Ade (agentfroot) wrote,

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Hey people.

First off, brief harassment: We need more stuff for the not-next-but-one-after-that issue of FNM. If you've already submitted something, you rock, and I'll get back to you at some point in the next month or two. If not, here's a link for the submission guidelines. It's technically after the deadline, but if you send me something in the next week, you will be loved by all. Heck, send something whenever, even if it gets pushed to the next-next-next issue.

Nothing very exciting has happened in the last few days. Other than Rose bringing home a pregnant mannequin belly/butt underwear model from work. It would make a wonderful end table if we put a bit of a wedge on the bottom so the top would be level.

Season 3 of Kyle XY should open with Kyle looking down over the cliff where Jessie jumped. He thinks "Oh no, she killed herself!" and walks away, looking troubled. He goes home feeling all guilty and depressed, and Josh and Andy are there. Andy is feeling all down about having to go through chemo, and Kyle somehow uses his freakish superhuman powers to cure her. Josh puts "ZOMG he cures cancer" into his Kyle file, and then he and Andy rejoice and go make out. And he touches her boobs. Kyle says goodbye to a weepy Amanda and spends the rest of the episode feeling depressed. Then, at the very end, there's a scene at the bottom of the cliff, where Jessie sits, unscathed, looking confused and disgruntled. (Because if Kyle could jump off the roof and go through flames and have nothing happen, surely she can jump off a cliff and will her body not to die, even though she was suicidal, and jumping off a cliff is one of the most ambiguous "death" scenes ever).

During the season, Lori and Declan become friends again, but Declan finds himself falling for someone else. Not Jessie, not even Hillary... no, he's in love with Kyle. At some point, they need to make out. I demand more homosexual action. That one brief kiss between Lori and Hillary (for the sole purpose of shocking Declan and Charlie) wasn't enough. Oh, by the way, Lori and Hillary, still bitter about men, become lesbians this season and make out at least once or twice every episode. Let's see... the parents do their parental stuff, and Nicole thwarts the douchebag high school principal's questionable plans (he's got to have something up his sleeve - I think he set up a webcam in the boys' locker room and whacks off to it, and Kyle finds out) and takes over his job. Meanwhile, Jessie wanders around lost, decides to go hitchhiking, rides with some weirdo across the country, and then murders him at a truck stop in New York. She wanders around New York and sees Amanda (at her new school) off in the distance, and she suddenly feels a MUST KILL AMANDA thought surge through her brain. She runs toward Amanda, holding a big chef's knife, and lunges at her, but at the last minute, the ghost of Amanda's father appears and diverts the knife. Instead of stabbing Amanda in the face, it slices through her hair, giving her a decent haircut unlike the ugly one she had last season. Jessie runs away, but the ghost of Amanda's father stays and talks to Amanda, and Amanda finally gets over it and doesn't whine about her dead father every time she talks to Kyle (who is too busy making out with Declan anyway). Moved by her experience, she decides to bake herself a few cakes, and she bounces back to a healthy weight. And becomes a famous piano player or something. And as for Tom, well, he has a threesome with Kyle and Declan. And then promptly gets arrested for sexin' the minors.

And that's how the series should go. Ack, I have to wait another year to see what happens. But I bet Jessie isn't dead, and Kyle will somehow help Andy.

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