I'm sorry, but it's over between us. It's not me, it's you. You've changed, and not for the better. Now don't start with the comments about how I've been cheating on you for years with Udipi and Zaiaka. You were a good restaurant in your day, but in the last few months, you've really gone downhill. Whether or not it's because the really short, pretty waiter left, you've gone from an awesome restaurant with delicious food and decent service to a crappy restaurant with mediocre food and lackluster service. Rose and I had been seeing a decline for months, but last night was the final straw.
Last night, Rose, Elaine, and I visited you for Rose's last night in Monroeville. I'm not sure why she didn't want to go to Zaiaka and say goodbye to Meena (nevermind that I'd been there twice in the past week, including the night before), or at least to Udipi. But we ordered paneer pakoras. Two orders, in fact, and we were very clear about this. They never came. Not at all. And yet you still tried to charge us for them. The food seemed to lack spice completely. It's like you ignored our different spice levels and said, "Screw you people for being white and Chinese, NO FLAVOR FOR YOU!" A spice level 7 means I want it spicy, but not to the point where my eyes water. My tongue did not tingle at all. And may I bring your attention to the garlic naan? Now, I usually like me some garlic naan, but I appreciate when the garlic is applied to the bread BEFORE baking. What did you do, bake an order of regular naan and then realize it was supposed to have garlic on it and then pour a jar of raw minced garlic directly onto the bread? Holy crap, that woke me up. Now I love garlic and everything, but it has to be at least a LITTLE cooked to lose that ZING that assaults the tongue and leaves a lingering flavor for days. It's why I avoid raw onions. But raw garlic is more hardcore. Sheesh. I can still taste the garlic now. So you see, your food is no longer worth the declining service. This isn't the first time the waiters have forgotten to bring things or otherwise messed up the order, and I'm sure it won't be the last. At least the pretty waiter served us well, even though he wasn't all that fluent in English and once brought me palak paneer that brought tears to my eyes, even though I ordered it at like a 6 or something.
So you see, India Garden, this is why I'm breaking up with you. It's not because Zaiaka has been my primary Indian food lover for months or that Meena's paneer pakoras taste better than yours because you can taste the love she puts into them. It's because you just plain suck. Goodbye, India Garden. You were wonderful in your day, but the time has come for us to part ways. If you ever change for the better and return to awesomeness, I may have a change of heart and come back to you, but until then, I bid you adieu.