Well, ladies and gentleman, you CAN get me off that couch. You CAN encourage me to move more than just my thumbs and forefingers and not die a tragic, premature death from carpal tunnel syndrome! Or heart disease and other diseases fat people often get! Yes, YOU can give the gift that keeps on giving. You can SAVE my LIFE!
Now that I sound like an annoying TV salesman, here's my pitch! You've heard of DDR. Yes, all the kids are playing it these days. Maybe you even tried it yourself! It's the perfect balance of video gaming goodness and exercise. And now, there's a version for the Wii! Which actually induces a full-body workout and not just the legs! No need to soil yourself with excitement, now. You don't even have to leave the house and be mauled by batshit crazy, plastic katana-wielding parents at Toys'R'Us! Just go online to one of these fabulous retailers! Make sure you get a bundle package that comes with the floor pad. Heck, get TWO floor pads and I'll even be a social exerciser! You can play too! With 4 decades of music to choose from, you can dance back to your youth, in the glory days before I came along! Yes folks, it can be fun for the whole family!
There. That's my pitch. Feel free to pass this on to non-LJ-reading relatives too.
(I bet nobody will actually buy me this. Ha.)