ManThing83: how ya doin'?
blupyglet: i'm good
blupyglet: just ordered pizza!
blupyglet: and watched kyle xy
ManThing83: mmm... pizza
blupyglet: yup! veggie pizza is delicious
ManThing83: dammit, Ade! Now I want pizza!
blupyglet: i win!
blupyglet: i can manipulate your mind!
blupyglet: soon you will be ready for your expedition!
blupyglet: i hope you have a good winter coat
blupyglet: because i'll be sending you verrrrrrrrry far north
blupyglet: and i hope you pack enough crates
blupyglet: and have room in your jet for all the penguins you'll be bringing back
blupyglet: i hope you have a jet too
blupyglet: because i sure don't...
ManThing83: true, but I control... your pants!
blupyglet: gah! my seeeeecret weakness!
blupyglet: and it's after 9 pm! ohnoes!
ManThing83: THey must come off!
blupyglet: i can feel them.... coming loose...
blupyglet: oh shit
blupyglet: this is going to be awkward when the pizza guy gets here...
ManThing83: I win!!
blupyglet: just for that, i'm not paying for your jet's gas!
ManThing83: well, that's fine because I don't own a jet
blupyglet: why am i manipulating you? i should be manipulating someone who owns a jet!
blupyglet: oh well. ben! go find me someone who has a jet and convince them to let you borrow it!
blupyglet: and get your jet pilot licanse while you're at it
blupyglet: and get your rabies shots. you never know what those penguins are carrying
ManThing83: penguins can't carry rabies
blupyglet: how do you know that?
ManThing83: rabies is a strictly mamallian disease
blupyglet: have you ever been bitten by one?
blupyglet: penguins are totally mammals
blupyglet: they lay eggs, just like a platypus
ManThing83: um... they have feathers
blupyglet: so does a platypus
ManThing83: no it doesn't
ManThing83: they're furry little water-moles
blupyglet: yes it does! they have venom in them! they're projectile feathers that shoot out of their feet and liquidate your internal organs
blupyglet: like a blue-ringed octopus
blupyglet: which is also a mammal
blupyglet: because it has tentacles, like davy jones
ManThing83: I don't think a characterr from a movie who was cursed to be a horrible fish-monster is a good standard for biological ordering
blupyglet: yes he is!
blupyglet: you're just jealous because you wish you were a mammal too
ManThing83: I am a mammal!
blupyglet: i know you like to think you are
blupyglet: but i'm sorry
blupyglet: you just can't lay eggs
blupyglet: i know, i know, it's a tragedy
blupyglet: you're just going to have to accept the fact that you're a cephalopod
blupyglet: and cephalopods can't lay eggs
ManThing83: well, if I'm gonna have to be anything, I'd rather be a cephalopod
blupyglet: i'm glad you're finally accepting your fate. it makes me proud.
blupyglet: i like how absurd my statements of facts are
blupyglet: you do realize most of that conversation is going on lj, right?
blupyglet: oh, i crack myself up sometimes...
ManThing83: you amuse me to no end
blupyglet: that's why i'm here
blupyglet: the comic relief
ManThing83: exactly. and don't you forget it! You exist to amuse me!
blupyglet: curses! your other power of manipulation!
blupyglet: ah, i am just a hand puppet to you.
blupyglet: but am i punch or judy?
ManThing83: you're a sock puppet
blupyglet: and is my pizza going to be here soon? i hope there's enough time to pull my pants back on and run to the door
blupyglet: ooh, a sock puppet
blupyglet: even better
ManThing83: yes! I want to make sock puppet voodoo dolls
blupyglet: finally, those lone socks whose partners got lost in the dryer will once again find a purpose...
ManThing83: of course, I have to wait for mine to air-dry since our dryer broke
blupyglet: i has a pizza! yay!
ManThing83: you will share pizza with me?
blupyglet: come on over and you can have some
blupyglet: i also have breadsticks and dr. pepper
ManThing83: ooh! If only it wasn't a four hour drive
blupyglet: yeah... the pizza would be cold by then
blupyglet: and i'll probably be asleep
ManThing83: and then you'd learn why you should lock your door
blupyglet: yeah. the police would not be pleased if a very irate person called them at 7 am demanding that they investigate who stole her leftover pizza
ManThing83: that too
ManThing83: also because I would walk in and wake you up as loudly as possibly
ManThing83: at like, 2am
blupyglet: and nobody likes the sounds of tubas at 3 am
ManThing83: well, I'm sure somebody does
ManThing83: it's a big world
blupyglet: and there are plenty of mental hospitals
ManThing83: also true
blupyglet: unfortunately, if you sat at the foot of my bed playing the tuba at 3 am, my foot would shoot out and nail you right where it counts, and you'd be playing the piccolo for a few days
ManThing83: maybe if you had longer legs, yeah
ManThing83: but you're short!
blupyglet: but wait, i kind of curl up in my sleep...
blupyglet: so it would extend
ManThing83: true, but you're still shorter than your bed
blupyglet: but when people sleep, their spines extend a bit, and they grow like an inch
blupyglet: but i suppose my bed is still longer than 4'10"
blupyglet: I guess I'll have to dangle waist-high rat traps from the ceiling then
blupyglet: on second thought, i'm horribly clumsy, so that would quickly backfire
blupyglet: i guess i should just be grateful you don't know how to play the tuba
blupyglet: ...or do you?
ManThing83: hah! you're just barely tall enough to not need a child seat in the car
ManThing83: and no, I don't
ManThing83: TV tells me that until a child is 4'9", they need a car seat
blupyglet: oh yeah? well you're just baely tall enough to.. um...
blupyglet: be a foot taller than me!
blupyglet: and hey, if you're over 12, it doesn't matter if you're 4'9" *grrrgrrgrrgrrrgrr*
blupyglet: i'm 4'9" and i drive perfectly fine without a car seat
blupyglet: my coworker didn't even joke about putting me in the car seat in her car when we went out to lunch until i brought it up
blupyglet: when you're a shrinking old man, you'll understand
ManThing83: ha! I doubt I'll be that short
blupyglet: says you
blupyglet: your hunchback will beg to differ
ManThing83: my hunchback is perfectly loyay to me. He likes living in the belltower
blupyglet: so does mine
ManThing83: well, that's good. they should get together and talk sometime
blupyglet: what's your hunchback's name?
blupyglet: mine is igorbella
blupyglet: aww, we should set them up on a blind date
blupyglet: i bet they'd be really cute together. then they can get married and have a dozen little hunchback babies!
ManThing83: yes... and we can rent them out to dance at people's weddings
ManThing83: that's good luck, y'know
blupyglet: the dancing hunchback babies would totally be a sensation
blupyglet: i bet they'd have their own reality show
blupyglet: i know i'd watch it
ManThing83: much better than that show about those like, octuplets or whatever
blupyglet: yeah. normal babies are less exciting than hunchbacked ones
ManThing83: okay... I need to go to bed
ManThing83: I will talk to you tomorrow
blupyglet: sweet dreams, and don't steal my pizza
ManThing83: can't promise anything
blupyglet: well, good night