Oh dear, I'm posting about cat toys... see, this is how thrilling my life is.
And, to answer
1) What would you do if you found yourself in your favorite video game?
Well, first I would choose to worship Loki, because I prefer his selection of minor gods to worship (plus, Loki is cool). Then I'd choose the Archipelago map and get busy raising my empire. So, since I'm the commander in chief, I'm going to summon as many krakens as I can to defend my islands, and then I will take out the harbors of my enemy and send many ships of my best soldiers and myth units! I won't actually ride into battle myself, because I'll be hanging out at the healing pool like a sissy, but they don't need my help anyway. We will kill them all! All your base are belong to us! Before I actually kill them all, I'll set my workers on releasing a titan, though that won't really do much good if I'm just hanging out on an island. But it's more fun to have a giant, nearly invincible beast thundering around. After I win, I'll probably go on vacation to Egypt and see how Queen Amanra is doing. She's pretty badass.
2) Describe a trip as if you were drunk or very hyper
*giggle* So I went to Egypt and... hang on, I gotta pee. Um... what? Hahahahahaha, oh yeah, Egypt. So Amanra, she's pretty cool, yanno... all Queen and stuff now... *sings* All the old paintings on the tomb, they do the sand dance, dont'cha know... yanno, those 'gypshun warriors, they kinda suck, 'cept they all walk around in loincloths, but those catapults? Man, they're pretty destructive. Hahahaha they fling boulders. I got your boulders right here! I'm flingin' 'em at ya! Hahaha... oh man... that wasn't funny. I like elelelephants. You know those scarabs bleed purple when you kill 'em? Yeah... not that I did, or anything. Yeah. *ZZZZZZZZZZ*
3) You're a doctor. Give medical advice (and "no procreation" isn't advice!)
Don't eat chicken skin out of the cat food dish. You'll get salmonella.
Man, now I want to go set up my desktop PC and play Age of Mythology...