1. Nobody would be allowed to wear pants after 9 pm. (Underwear of some sort would be required in public places, except for those wearing skirts, dresses, loincloths, kilts, etc.)
2. Gay marriage is legal everywhere! Yay!
3. Halloween is a national holiday, and you get a day off work/school.
4. The national animal is now the kitten.
5. Proven sexual offenders will be castrated without any painkillers. (Yes, it's barbaric. But it's nowhere near as barbaric as rape, especially involving children.)
6. White house staffers will quite likely have interesting new uniforms (probably something like loincloths and French maid outfits for people under 30 and snazzy tuxedos with bow ties for everyone else).
7. Abstinence education clearly doesn't work. It's not "sex ed" if you're just telling them NOT to do it. Kids have hormones. You can't stop them from doing what they're going to do. You might as well teach them to be safe and responsible, while encouraging them to wait until they're ready. So public schools are going to have a new, more effective approach, and maybe it will reduce teen STD and pregnancy rates.
8. I liked that economic stimulus idea. We're going to make that a regular thing.