Ade (agentfroot) wrote,

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Writer's Block: Self-Indulgent

I had a bad dream last night. In the first part, someone had dragged me to a Bible study group, and I felt really uncomfortable there. I was trying to explain to the leader (this guy who looked like he was in his late 20s) and the group why I wasn't a Christian, and I was getting frustrated and annoyed. They kept staring at me as if to say, "you are a lost sheep, and we don't care what you have to say, but we will do whatever it takes to assimilate you into our flock." I shouldn't have to explain myself, people should respect my beliefs and mind their own business, and never EVER even suggest that I should follow a specific path. Respect me, and I will respect you. And mind your own beeswax.

Anyway, in the second part of the dream, I was somehow 9 months pregnant. I don't know how I got that way or why I couldn't recall the entire pregnancy, but here I was, ready to pop. My belly was very round. I was standing in the hospital, and I overheard the nurse telling the doctor about my upcoming delivery, and something about the tone bothered me. I don't remember what it was, though. I think I wanted to ask about privacy and keeping the door closed, because I didn't want anyone walking by and seeing that I was having a baby. I stood alone in a big, dark hospital room, and I knew that I was in labor. It was time to take off my pants and sit in the chair (it looked sort of like a dentist's chair), but I really didn't want to. But I knew I had no other choice, because the baby had to come out. I knew there would be doctors and nurses staring at me, and there would be pain and medical things, and then I'd have to deal with a baby when I don't even like babies until they're potty trained and reasonably fluent in English (or another native language). I felt frustrated and worried, and I really didn't want to go through with it. I woke up in the middle of the night, very relieved that I wasn't actually pregnant. Then one of my "real" babies crawled onto me and snuggled up against my face (thanks for suffocating me, Bouncer), so I felt better and went back to sleep.

If you had to give up one indulgence for 40 days, what would it be?

Your mom. But the question is, could your mom give up me?

Oh snap, or something.

...Or maybe alcohol. That's an indulgence, I guess. I don't think I've had any since December, although I rarely drink to begin with.
Tags: writer's block
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