Ade (agentfroot) wrote,

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Writer's Block: It wasn't me.

Did you ever do anything in your youth that you lived to regret? Do you think you ultimately learned from it or do you wish you could go back in time and do it over?

Of course. Everyone has regrets. And everyone learns (though some people keep making the same mistakes). But would I do things differently? No. Sure, sometimes I think about the past and kind of wince, thinking "If I could just go back in time and take that opportunity/stop myself from doing something stupid/kick that person in the crotch/etc., things would be a lot better." But if I never screw up, how will I learn? If nothing bad ever happened to me, how would it strengthen me? What kind of stories could I tell if everything was hunky-dory all the time? So maybe I jumped in a time machine, barged into my room in the middle of the night, and told my younger self how to handle a situation. Maybe things would have turned out better. Maybe not. But if things had turned out differently, who knows how my life would change.

But you know what? I like the life I have now, despite all that past crap. I have my own house. I have four amazing fluffballs, and I don't mind being their slave (most of the time). I have good friends. I'm employed. I never made a lot of the mistakes that I see people make all the time. I never got arrested. I never got addicted to any questionable substances (all my addictions are purely psychological). I never had an eating disorder or let societal pressures overwhelm me. I never jumped into a relationship or marriage. I never got pregnant. I'm not wasting my life away in a dilapidated shack with screaming children and a miserable marriage, wishing I could go back in time and kick myself in the head. I'm free and secure, and I still have a few years of youth left before time starts smacking me around. It's not a perfect life, but if it was perfect, it would be boring. The past is the past, and what's done is done. All I can do is move forward.
Tags: writer's block
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