Ade (agentfroot) wrote,

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i've decided not to make new year's resolutions this year, since they never come true. instead, i will spend 2003 being productive and saving the world! *waits for everyone to stop laughing* or at least i can try.

still no new year's plans. oh well, 8 hours til midnight. yippee.

1. What's your real name?
my name is inigo montoya! you killed my father! prepare to die!
...wait, that's not original enough. oh well. call me ade. if you remove most of the letters of my real name, that's what you get.

2. What's your favorite nickname?
i don't know. sometimes variations of my name (aderiffic, adearoni and cheese, etc.) can be fun, but as for other nicknames, i like long pants shirley (a la 6th grade), punkin (my dad calls my sister that too so it's not solely MY nickname, grrr...), and annie the goddess of bad weather

What the hell happened to #3?
*burp* number 3? what number 3?

4. What's your favorite nickname for your genitals?
nobody has ever dared to name them, and i'd be worried if they did.

5. Where were you born?
*sings* i was born on the other side of a town ripped in two! i made it over the great divide, now i'm coming for you!
what i mean is lawrence memorial hospital in new london, connecticut...

6. Do you like the rain?
yes! it makes me happy!

7. Have you ever been in love?
not that i know of. just the occasional crush on a friend or imaginary character...

8. Did you ever wonder why there are llamas?
so that "the emperor's new groove" could be produced and we could quote yzma at dinner time (a llama? he's supposed to be DEAD!!!!!)

9. What song best describes you?
probably "winter" by tori amos or the toys'r'us theme song

10. What would you name your first son?
knowing me, probably something like "lord mephistopheles the fluffy." as for the 13 1/2 imaginary children, the first male's name is antonio but we call him AJ or tony or other weird nicknames.

11. What would you name your first son if you made him in your garage out of glue, coat hangers and sawdust?
the almighty bob!

12. Do you write in pen or pencil?
i like mechanical pencils because the lead makes thin, dark lines. i don't like regular pencils because they always break, the lead needs to be sharpened, the lines get really faded and weak, and you can't click them repeatedly when you're bored in class

13. When was the last time you cried?
i don't know, maybe a few weeks ago. i got a little sniffly in the car yesterday when i was listening to a song that made me feel sniffly, but i didn't really cry...

14. When was the last time you wanted to cry?
i never WANT to cry, but i've felt like i was going to a few times recently. especially watching "lilo and stitch" a few days ago. that movie always gets me crying, but i was watching it in a basement full of neighborhood kids, so i somehow managed to hold it in. i'm so proud of myself.

15. When was the last time George Lucas made you want to cry?
when he ran off with my cousin peggy sue and took the dog and left me all alone in my trailer! i cried for a week (over the dog, that is), and then i called my friends bubba and lulu and granny mae and we went over to their shack and burned down the outhouse! yee-haw!

16. When you were a kid, did you ever break any bones?
when i was 1 1/2, i was jumping on my parents' bed when they weren't watching, and i fell off. i broke my collar bone, but i was fine.

17. When you were a kid, did you ever steal anything?
it's a little too late to take the candy back to winn dixie, isn't it? i ate it 12 years ago, why should i give it back?

18. When you were in prison, did you do any amateur tattooing?
3 days before i escaped from death row, i cut a picture of a platypus into billy bob's scrotum and smeared charcoal into it. he gave me a nickel.

19. Do you like donuts?
sometimes. i don't like them in the morning, and i don't really like the glazed kind.

20. Even jelly donuts?
they give me heartburn, so i avoid them

21. Do you know what's in that shit?
i really don't want to analyze the contents of feces, thank you very much...

22. If you were a tree, what kind of tree would you be?
the whomping willow at hogwarts, only i'd look like an actual willow instead of an ugly lumpy dead thing.

23. If you were a cow, would you be white with black spots?
i don't care, as long as i lived in india! i could walk all over the place and get free food, and everyone would love me!

24. If you were flexible enough, would you... y'know?
well of course! if i was flexible enough to reach the high shelves without pulling a pectoral muscle, i'd be able to reach the cheese balls without having to sheepishly ask the nice tall lady nearby!

25. What was the saddest moment in your life?
probably realizing what a jerk i've been to some people

26. Do you think I really care?
no, you're just getting paid to pretend to care! you therapists are all the same! *bursts into tears and runs off into the night*

27. How many times do I have to tell you to shut the fuck up?
mind your manners young man, or i'll take the switch to ya!

28. What color shoes are you wearing?
i'm wearing the tan and white slippers my grandma made for me!

29. What color shirt are you wearing?
black. along with a black sweatshirt. i'm a gothic prude, yeah.

30. Are you wearing any underpants?
yup! my favorite purple eeyore undies!

31. Oooo. Are they lacey?
lace underwear creeps me out. it's so... ugly...

32. Do I make you hot?
jeez, first you morph into a dragon in my basement, then you leave scorch marks on the walls, and NOW you're going to incinerate me? you meanypants!

33. What is your lucky number?
87 1/2

34. What is your unlucky number?
don't have one at the moment

35. Why do you succumb to human weakness and hold superstitions, you sad, callow sheep?
Why do you think you are above the effects of pop culture and conformity?
i'm not superstitious! one of my best friends is a black cat, i like the number 13, and i walk under ladders all the time! you LIAR! pop culture and conformity can kiss my *hey now, don't go there!* and so can you! *thbbbbbb!!!*

36. What's your favorite book?
i don't know, maybe "the pig-out blues" or "the arkadians." i've read them both at least 2 or 3 times, they're great.

39. Who knows you the best?
i know me the best!

40. Who knows you the best "in the Biblical sense"?
wha? i haven't read the bible in a long time. what biblical sense?

41. Who knows you the best to testify against you?
probably laura, since she probably WOULD testify against me if given the opportunity, since she's more honest than anyone i know, and she has plenty of blackmail material

42. Describe yourself in one word.

43. Describe yourself in one preposition.

44. Just who in the hell do you think you are?
ooh! i can say something like that in japanese! i think "nandayo omae wa" means "who the fuck do you think you are," but i could be wrong.

45. Would you like to star in a movie about your life?
sure, but can it be a musical? pleeeeease?

46. Would you like to star in a transgendered-midget porn movie about your life?
sure. but can it be a tranny midget porn MUSICAL? with lots of dancing and fun costumes?

47. Are you a generous person?
i think so.

48. Can I borrow $100?
i don't know, CAN you?

49. Did you lie on this test?
well, i made up a few answers...

50. Did you lie on that last question?

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