01. Ever laughed at someone else's misfortune? (1 point)
*sulks* yes
02. Ever laughed at a physically or mentally handicapped person? (2 points)
*sobs* it was junior high! i din't know any better, and i didn't do it to her face! i'm sorry!!!!!!!!!
03. Ever tried alcohol? (1 point)
does taking a tiny sip count? i'll mark that as a yes.
04. Ever been drunk? (2 points)
no
05. Ever play drinking games? (2 points)
does racing to see who can finish her juice the fastest count? no? ok.
06. Ever fall down because you drank too much? (3 points)
no
07. Ever drink enough to throw up? (4 points)
no
08. Ever wake up and not remember what you did the night before? (5 points)
that happens occasionally (mostly after nights where i did absolutely nothing) but never drug-induced.
09. Ever been forcibly removed from a bar? (8 points)
not that i know of
10. Ever participated in/finished a pub crawl? (5 points)
no
11. Do you drink regularly, at least 3 times a week? (3 points)
if i didn't, i'd get dehydrated. but in the case of alcohol, no.
12. Ever fall asleep/pass out in a bar? (4 points)
no
13. Ever try pot, hash, magic mushrooms? (4 points for each one tried)
no
14. Do you do drugs regularly? (4 points)
no
15. Ever bought soft drugs? (4 points)
like the gel caps?
16. Ever sell drugs? (8 points)
no, but i occasionally give people ibuprofin or titralac or other over-the-counter stuff if i have it and they need it
17. Ever sell drugs to support a drug habit? (12 points)
no
18. Ever used barbiturates? (8 points)
no
19. Ever used hallucinogens? (8 points)
no
20. Ever used narcotics? (10 points)
no
21. Ever been stoned or drunk for more than 48 hours? (8 points)
*groans* no
22. Ever been on a date? (2 points)
well, not really. once my friend and i were joking online and said we'd go on a "date" to art class that afternoon, but it wasn't a REAL date and we were completely platonic friends
23. Ever been felt up, groped? (2 points)
*winces* only without my consent. sexual assault really sucks.
bonus: to orgasm? (2 points)
you can't have an orgasm when you're terrified
24. Ever had sexual intercourse? (6 points)
nope
bonus: on 1st date? (2 points)
no
25. Ever had a bath or shower with the opposite sex? (5 points)
nope
26. Ever paid for sex? (8 points)
no, i'm not desperate...
27. Ever taken advantage of someone while they were stoned or drunk? (4 points)
no
28. Ever get someone stoned or drunk to obtain sexual favors and succeed? (8 points)
no
29. Ever engage in oral sex? (4 points)
no
bonus: to orgasm? (2 points)
no
30. Ever engage in anal sex? (6 points)
*shudders* no, i find that disgusting. no offense to those who like it, but that just creeps me out. the bum is off-limits.
bonus: to orgasm? (2 points)
no
31. Ever engage in the 69 position? (4 points)
no
32. Ever contract an STD? (12 points)
no
33. Ever had sex without a contraceptive? (4 points)
no
34. Ever had or knowingly been responsible for an abortion? (12 points)
no
35. Ever had sex with two or more partners in a week? (4 points)
no
36. Ever had sex with more than one person at a time? (9 points)
no
37. Ever had sex in a public place? (6 points)
no again
38. Ever had carpet burns in relation to a sexual act? (4 points)
no
39. Ever engage in sexual activity with a member of the same sex? (10 points).
*sigh* no
40. Ever practiced bondage, masochism, or sadism for sexual gratification? (8 points)
i'm not into that
41. Ever used sex toys? (6 points)
*glances slyly around the room and grins* who wants to know?
42. Ever pass out during sex? (5 points)
no
43. Ever been responsible for losing someone else's virginity? (4 points)
if i did, i'd feel bad and offer to buy them a new one
44. Ever masturbated while talking on the phone? (3 points)
no, that would be TOO weird
45. Ever bought something in a sex shop? (3 points)
not yet, but someday my dear spammykins and i will pay a visit to that adult video store just for the heck of it *giggles*
46. Ever licked or have someone lick an eyeball (1 point), toes (2 points), ears (1 point)?
ewww, gross! my cat occasionally licks my toes, but she doesn't count.
47. Ever have sex with a relative? (5 points)
nooooo
48. Ever make someone sleep in the wet spot? (6 points)
if anyone i ever share a bed with MAKES a wet spot, it's their responsibility to change the sheets. gross!
49. Does necrophilia, pedophilia, or bestiality turn you on? (20 points)
no
50. Ever been arrested? (8 points)
not really
bonus: If convicted (7 points)
no
My Score = 12
SCORING
0-20 A life with the church is too corrupt for you. (yes folks, i got kicked out of the convent for looking at porn, using the poor box money to buy candy for orphans, telling parishioners they're cannibals if they take communion and believe in transsubstantiation, leaving my vibrator in the church pews, invoking hecate during mass, etc.)
21-40 You barely make our scale.
41-60 Approaching normal, you aren't much fun on a date.
61-100 Normal, you use your right hand like everyone else.
101-130 Above average, you've got a few tricks below the belt.
131-160 You're enjoying life to the max.
161-200 You're a danger to society. Who let you out on a day pass?
200+ You're going straight to hell
