Ade (agentfroot) wrote,

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What a crazy, mixed-up dream. I don't know how it happened, but somehow it was 20-25 years ago (let's do the time warp again...) yet I was in my current form. Since I didn't even exist 25 years ago and my mum was nearly 6 months pregnant with me 20 years ago, it was odd. Of course, since it was a dream, everything looked modern and people were dressed in modern clothes and had modern hairstyles, etc. I was in what looked like the middle school, and people (kids and grownups) were all walking by. I think I saw my dad, which was odd... did he somehow time warp with me? This kinda chubby guy who looked around 14 stopped and talked to me. I didn't know him, but he seemed nice. Then his friend called him into the gym and asked him to help with something, and he told me he'd be back in 5 minutes or so. I wandered around and came to a row of lockers where a bunch of kids were getting ready to go home. I saw a girl at her locker and somehow knew it was my friend CJ when she was a teenager (her face was kinda blurry though - faces usually are in dreams). So I stopped and said hi and asked how she was doing. Of course, she had no idea who I was, so she kind of looked at me suspiciously. I was being polite and trying to talk to her, but she seemed really suspicious. Knowing her past, I didn't really blame her. But I felt like I had to somehow convince her I was trustworthy, so I kept talking to her. Then I turned around and saw my dad videotaping us with this old camera he had in the 80s and 90s. So I yelled, "Turn that fucking thing off!" at the top of my lungs (I hope I wasn't talking in my sleep...) and everyone started laughing, including him. I heard a couple people talking about my lovely use of a swear word, and I wondered why my dad wasn't yelling at me for saying it. But he just laughed and went away. CJ looked annoyed and even more suspicious, so I apologized. Then I asked her if she wanted to get away from the school and go somewhere and talk. Of course, she had no idea who I was and refused, and we walked to this other part of the school. Some guy said something to her, and I just exploded. I ended up fighting with the guy, and it was a weird fight, like we were floating in space or something (dreams are like that). He kept pushing me off, but I finally had him on the ground and punched him in the nuts. I stood up feeling proud of myself and looked at CJ. She looked absolutely amazed. After that I guess I lost her, and I was walking down this street by the school that looked suspiciously like one of the sidewalks at Allegheny. I was feeling pretty down, and I thought my dad was following me, so I was walking quickly. I started walking down what looked like Brooks walk and saw the nice guy I talked to earlier. He apologized for not finding me earlier, and I said it was ok. Then I asked him if he knew CJ, and I don't remember what he said but I think he did. I guess I caught up with her and we ended up at this doctor's office. I was waiting in the waiting room and heard her yelling at the doctor inside. Then she left and the doctor asked me if i was depressed and needed help. I said no, because I'm really not depressed at this time, even though the dream had a general melancholy feeling to it. There was this weird part where I was in someone else's house, alone, and then I ran into some people I vaguely knew and was trying to eat cake while making a big mess. There was another dream involving a big dining hall that was supposedly Schultz but wasn't, but that dream was vague and boring. Anyway, that dream has been haunting me all day so far (it will probably stop when I go to class and distract myself). It's weird, there seemed to be this theme of loss and trying to find someone and even save them. But I couldn't "save"her even if I tried - I can't change the past, not for me or anyone else. I can't save anyone from themselves. I can just do the best I can to help them, even if I really can't. Now this is reminding me of the song "All You Wanted" by Michelle Branch. Except I can't save anyone and take them away from here. Oh well. My dreams are so weird.

I decided that "Lubert" is a cool name. I don't know why, it just sounds fun. I named an emu Lubert in the story I wrote last night. Making up random silly names is fun!

RIP, Mrs. Popovich.

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